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Can’t seem to get over breakup and move on.

4 replies

ColeTrickle11 · 13/04/2025 22:52

Hi guys, I never thought I would get to a place where I would out my troubles on the internet but here we are.

Im 36 and just over a year ago my 26 year old partner left with my then 14 month old son.
(he’s 2 now)
She lives over an hour and half drive away.
I run my own business and work 4am until late every weekday until Thursday evening of which I then make that journey to pick him up, I then have him until Sunday evening when I drop him back.
She has never made things difficult with regards to me seeing my son however I feel that she threw the towel in too soon with regards to our relationship.
She is a good mum though and our communication is healthy and I’m fully aware that I get every Thursday to Sunday with my son which is a lot more than other dads do.

I feel a deep sense of sadness and sorrow and I can’t see any light at the end of the tunnel with regards to moving on, it’s been over a year and these feelings haven’t subsided. I haven’t dated, 1) because I don’t want to and 2) where would I even find the time?

She has recently met a guy and she has plans to move herself and my son in with him in the summer, something which I think is way too soon. I have made my feelings clear about this and am doing all I can with regards to ensuring my sons safety.
I think it’s unreasonable to uproot a child into unfamiliar surroundings so soon into a new relationship that could easily turn out unstable.
But to be honest, what is cutting me deep is the fact that soon enough they will be doing family stuff of their own.

My son and I have a great time together filled with swimming, parks, soft plays, walking round the woods etc and I wouldn’t trade that for going out on a date anyway.

I just can’t seem to get past the breakup of my family.
She’s completely checked out, gone, so much so that it comes across as if she has no empathy for the family unit we once had.

Any advice would be great.
Thank you.

OP posts:
stargazingortryingto · 13/04/2025 22:56

Hi OP, I don’t have any advice but as someone who grew up with a dad who wasn’t very interested, it is lovely to hear how much you clearly care about your son and the effort you make to maintain your relationship with him. I’m sure someone will be along soon with some advice but I didn’t want to read and run. I hope you feel better soon and that you continue to enjoy what sound like very happy times with your son.

ColeTrickle11 · 14/04/2025 04:10

stargazingortryingto · 13/04/2025 22:56

Hi OP, I don’t have any advice but as someone who grew up with a dad who wasn’t very interested, it is lovely to hear how much you clearly care about your son and the effort you make to maintain your relationship with him. I’m sure someone will be along soon with some advice but I didn’t want to read and run. I hope you feel better soon and that you continue to enjoy what sound like very happy times with your son.

Thank you for your kind words

OP posts:
BeerAndMusic · 27/04/2025 23:52

Appreciate its only a year and you have your son but its nothing to do with you if she moves in with someone - her choice and being blunt, you have to lump it!

Kids are adaptable and even if tough at start he will adapt to new surroundings.

As for you, cant decide if good or bad that you get every Thurs-Sun as that means you have no time for you at weekends. I'm 50/50 and we have 2233 rota although we are 5 mins away so not realistic for you. But maybe you have Mon-Thurs one week and thurs -sun next week if yo can rework your business?

Also make time for you. Getting out dating IMO is part of the moving on process. I was dating within weeks and it was the right thing to do for me.

I guess the 'issue' is that you still get on.My ex wife was so nasty there is real hatred there now from me so easy to move on!

TravelMoose · 29/05/2025 05:46

From a 2x divorcee, you gotta move on. This energy your putting into the regret/loss etc will affect you long term. Focus on self improvement, join a spin class or something. Anything to get the negative energy out.

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