Feel beleaguered by wife's family

[LoyalMember]

Anybody else ever feel this way with inlaws? At each family gathering it feels like every time I open my mouth my opinions and views are immediately challenged and shot down. Every decision I make, thing I've done, or solution to a problem is picked at, contradicted, and met with mocking laughter. The wife won't help. She won't say boo to them, and she says it's just banter. My dear old mum and family weren't as combative as this, and I just can't get used to it, or maybe I'm reacting worse to it. Anybody any advice?

They aren’t asking for a solution to their problem so stop offering one, they are just having a moan, some people just like to do that because they have bugger all else to talk about and, even if the perfect gold plated solution was right in front of them, they would reject it because they wallow in their own negativity.
They obviously don’t want your opinion, so I’d either stop offering one, or just stop joining your wife so often at these get togethers.
If you do have to attend, just smile and nod and silently think ‘what a bunch of knobs’. They sound like they work as a bullying pack so, if they have nothing to mock/pick you apart about, they can’t attack you. They will try to bait you though, don’t rise to it.
Ultimately I think I’d decline to attend as often as possible.

Agree with @NotHavingAFunTime - step back from family gatherings as far as possible. When you are there, grey rock as far as possible. Don't engage. If it is a day time gathering, I have found that a library book that I need to return the next day is an excellent solution - "So sorry, I don't mean to be rude but I have to finish this book by tomorrow."

And, have a chat with your wife. She should be pushing back - you are her first family.

Agree With the others, limit contact and
don’t engage as much. If they ask for input only do so if you are happy to give it. They sound dreadful so dot feel guilty about stepping back.

Wise friend once said-families are like farts, you can just about tolerate your own!!

Yes, they're incredibly catty and contentious about most things, and anything I say is almost always met with derision and picked apart. The other son in law doesn't get nearly this amount of cattiness. It's as if I was just hatched yesterday, and don't have any life experience worth listening to. It's really getting me down.