Baby wont stop screaming with Dad

[Lawlj3]

Hi all,

Please could you give me some suggestions or advice. My 12 week old baby wont stop screaming when he's with his Dad in the evening as he gets in from work. My Husband offers to take him so I can have some down time but the whole time our baby gets himself in a state and screams and squeals. He tries everything I do, but nothing seems to work and it usually ends with me coming to calm the baby as by this point he's extremely hot and breathless.

Has anyone been through anything similar and what have you found that helps please?

My Husband tries cuddling, rocking, shushing, dummies, skin to skin but nothing seems to calm him. It breaks my heart as my Husband has been in tears about it this evening.

Thanks all in advance.

Go for a walk. Leave them to it.

^ That. Go out for several evenings on the trot, and regularly until the baby gets the message.

Has he tried wearing something that smells of you?

Why doesn't he try doing his bath instead? Total change of scene and sensation.

Wear a t-shirt or similar and leave it with your husband, even draped across his chest

Go out

They'll work it out

It's hard though ❣️

Hi OP, how much one-on-one time does Dad usually have with baby? My first born was like this with her Dad after he came home from work, they started a little routine in the morning whilst I slept and I think it really helped their bonding. Not sure why the mornings felt easier for her but I noticed a difference in her reactions. She also had colic worse during the evenings so this probably made her want me more.

Do you exclusively BF? This was a big factor in my babies attachment to me too.

At this point, baby doesn’t know he is separate from you and doesn’t have an individual sense of self so it’s common for babies for want their Mums primarily and it certainly isn’t anything your husband is doing wrong.

Babies do this. They want what is familiar, your DH needs more time with baby. I’d start having him doing hours by himself with baby on the weekend. You should leave the house if the crying is going to cause you intervening. They need to figure out their own way.

He and the baby should go out with baby in a wrap sling. Look up TICKS baby wearing for a safe position for this age. I've looked after various babies who wanted their mums and this rarely fails- only if they are ill or hungry in my experience. Usually the change of air temp surprises them and stops them crying initially and then he does a purposeful and slightly bouncy walk with baby's head well supported they should be ok! The upright position helps with windy tummies too

Also make sure dad doesn't wear strong perfume or deodorant or vape etc as they do bond through their parents' natural smell

I agree with the points re: smell - no big scents.

One thing that has been true from an early point for my son is that my son is always happiest with the person who starts the day with him - even 20m with his dad whilst I got dressed and ate meant he was happy.

Is it at the same time every day, and is the baby OK with him at other times, say at weekends?

I ask because my eldest suffered really bad colic every day between 5 and 6pm. You could set your watch to it. It took a while to realise it wasn't me.