Backdated CSA since change to CMA

Dad198 · 2025-01-16T23:41:38+00:00

My son from a previous relationship was born in 2008. Through the child support agency at the time I had a dna test and following result paid a few payments to my ex partner. She never took these payments and so they were returned to me. I put them in an account for him to have when he was older. Due to ongoing disputes between us contact was lost when he was approx 18 months old.l, mainly her being jealous of my new partner who I’m still with. My boy is now 16 and we have re established contact between me and him away from his mums interference. Child Support Agency was replaced with child maintenance instead which I never paid into and no claim was lodged that I’m aware of with them. I would like to send him this small sum of money towards something of his choosing but will this cause any problems and can she still claim any unpaid maintenance because governing body effectively changed. For the last 15 years this would be a considerable amount of money, that I don’t have.

Quinlan · 17/01/2025 04:14

How could contact be lost? You had the dna test done so all it would take would be taking her to court and they would 100% have granted you access. Did you just not bother?

What do you mean that she didn’t take the payments? If she opened a case, she would have to give them her bank detail and they would pay it to her. They didn’t used to just take your money without having that set up.

Otherwise, if she didn’t set up a case then she can’t come after you for it now. They don’t backdate. When it changed from CSA to CMS, your case would have automatically switched with it. If there has been an open case for the last 16 years then you will owe the money, unless they wrote it off. You’d know if there was an open case as you would get a letter every year with the annual calculation. Have you got the same address or have you moved? It’s worth contacting CMS so find out if there is an open claim, just to be sure. If there isn’t then you don’t legally owe anything.

Original poster

Dad198 · 17/01/2025 09:24

we lived over 100 miles apart. When I arranged to go and see my lad she knew I was coming but would go out and turn her phone off so that I had wasted my time driving there. Keep repeating this I thought it wasn’t fair on him for me to be seen on occasion and not others and over time contact was lost.

I was never in a financial position to go to court, and was not eligible for legal aid at the time.

payments I made were sent via csa but were returned to me, I don’t receive any statements etc from anyone. I have lived in the same property for about 14 years.

I always said when he was older we could have a relationship away from her and her crooked ways.

OP posts:

Quinlan · 17/01/2025 19:33

It’s always the same story when men walk out of their kid’s life. Never your fault. Women manage to represent themselves when they cant afford family court, but men always fall back on “I couldn't afford it.” Ah well, seems like you got away with the maintenance.

LegoBingo · 17/01/2025 19:35

Dad198 · 17/01/2025 09:24

we lived over 100 miles apart. When I arranged to go and see my lad she knew I was coming but would go out and turn her phone off so that I had wasted my time driving there. Keep repeating this I thought it wasn’t fair on him for me to be seen on occasion and not others and over time contact was lost.

I was never in a financial position to go to court, and was not eligible for legal aid at the time.

payments I made were sent via csa but were returned to me, I don’t receive any statements etc from anyone. I have lived in the same property for about 14 years.

I always said when he was older we could have a relationship away from her and her crooked ways.

Could you use the returned payments to go to court to see your son regularly?

Original poster

Dad198 · 17/01/2025 21:32

LegoBingo · 17/01/2025 19:35

Could you use the returned payments to go to court to see your son regularly?

Show quote history

He’s 16 now so it’s up to me to rebuild a relationship. Can’t see court matters now for seeing him.

OP posts:

Original poster

Dad198 · 17/01/2025 21:38

Quinlan · 17/01/2025 19:33

It’s always the same story when men walk out of their kid’s life. Never your fault. Women manage to represent themselves when they cant afford family court, but men always fall back on “I couldn't afford it.” Ah well, seems like you got away with the maintenance.

its not that it wasn’t my fault. If truth be known I should have made more of an effort but here we are now and try and make good out of a shït situation. I want to do right by him but at the same time I don’t want her to screw me over and ruin the life my other kids have.

OP posts:

itwasmadeofelm · 17/01/2025 21:56

Wow. Brace yourself, @Dad198

Wait til he's 18 to give him the money. And save enough monthly as if you were paying CM.

And I promise you it's not about jealousy of your new partner. It's because she thought you were shit, rightly or wrongly, for whatever reason.

SqishySqashmas · 18/01/2026 08:28

Seriously, unless you are planning on giving him all of the money that you should have been paying on maintennance, I'd just leave it.

There is obviously a lot you're not telling us and thinking that you can swan back into his life after conveniently absolving youself of all parenting responsibility due to your your crappy decisions and treatment of his mother shows quite an extreme level of arrogance.

WhamBamThankU · 18/01/2026 08:37

Such poor excuses. You can self represent in court and it’s less than £300 to apply. I’m surprised your son wants a relationship after what you have/haven’t done. Mentioning your other children’s lives being affected won’t help you either, your son should have had your presence and financial support. Well done on your ex for bringing him up alone.

2026willbebetter · 31/01/2026 17:35

Dad198 · 17/01/2025 09:24

we lived over 100 miles apart. When I arranged to go and see my lad she knew I was coming but would go out and turn her phone off so that I had wasted my time driving there. Keep repeating this I thought it wasn’t fair on him for me to be seen on occasion and not others and over time contact was lost.

I was never in a financial position to go to court, and was not eligible for legal aid at the time.

payments I made were sent via csa but were returned to me, I don’t receive any statements etc from anyone. I have lived in the same property for about 14 years.

I always said when he was older we could have a relationship away from her and her crooked ways.

It costs less than £250 to go to court so saying you don’t have the funds for that but you’ve saved a substantial amount for him is bull shit.

2026willbebetter · 31/01/2026 17:36

Dad198 · 17/01/2025 21:38

its not that it wasn’t my fault. If truth be known I should have made more of an effort but here we are now and try and make good out of a shït situation. I want to do right by him but at the same time I don’t want her to screw me over and ruin the life my other kids have.

Show quote history

What about the years were you screwed her over?

MunterJobHunter · 31/01/2026 17:42

She didn’t even want your money in the end… That doesn’t sound like jealousy that sounds like knowing they were far better off without you in their lives in any capacity. The son will be curious and want the relationship but you’re ok with him missing out on what you legally owed him (not technically his mother as it was to be spend on his care and needs) so your current kids get to keep a nice life? I hope she does claw back those years of money and fwiw you’re financially liable for him until he finishes uni too so that can be quite some amount. Why should your current kids benefit from your income and not your estranged one?