Eldest daughter doesn’t want to visit

[eja1070]

I’m nearly divorced from her mum and we have been living separately for over 18 months.

By and large we’ve had joint custody of our daughters (11, 8), and for the last 6 months it’s been court ordered at 50/50.

My eldest has been struggling with the split and the circumstance surrounding it, but we also have a great time together.

But in the last few weeks she’s started to refuse to go places with me or visit in our days and has now told her mum that she doesn’t want to see me as much going forward. In the meantime her sister is still with me half the time but that means they are now separated half the time and she doesn’t understand it.

Any advice on how I talk to her and get her back? she’s getting to the age now she’s at high school she is taking control. And my wife I don’t believe is being overly supportive to fixing it.

Keep trying first of all a breakthrough could be round the corner. I don't have older kids but we all know what it's like becoming a teenager. Maybe try to find something she really wants to do that is something she doesn't/can't do with mum?

Also maybe have another chat with the mum to see what she is saying to your eldest and can she be on your side to help you find out why your daughter doesn't want to see you. I'm sure she wouldn't like it if it was the other way round.