Anyone here who was a single dad with full parental responsibility from the day their child was born?

[Lmccrean]

Theres a guy in my work who had got a woman pregnant. Without going into details, it is extremely likely that he will have full parental responsibility from birth (4-5 months away)

Can anyone advise if paternity leave becomes the same as maternity leave in such cases? ie will he get 9 months off. Or will it be standard leave? I cant find any info on any official websites.

Try looking at Direct Gov: Paternity leave and pay.

Looks like it could be just the statutory two weeks - is that really possible? What is the policy of his employer?

NOt sure if it is at all relevant but you are entitled to 52 weeks off if you are adopting a child I know in certain circumsances, people do adopt their own children. It's maybe worth having a look at and seeing if he qualifies for anything like this...

or, there's something here about parental leave which sounds like you get 13 weeks off, whether you are a mum or a dad ( I think it's more for sickness cover for children, but I'm sure it would still be appropriate)

I think he's only entitled to the standard two weeks. Which is desperately unfair, bordering on immoral.

Your employers might be prepared to offer him some unpaid leave, at least, though; worth asking nicely.

Is he aware of the following:

As an unmarried mother, you have sole responsibility for a child unless:
you register the birth of your child with the child's father or
make a formal agreement with the father of the child or
there is a court order in favour of the father.

As an unmarried father, you have no automatic parental responsibility for your child. You can acquire parental responsibility by:
registering (or re-registering) the birth of your child together with the child's mother or
making a formal agreement with the mother or
obtaining a court order or
becoming the child?s guardian (which would only take effect on the mother?s death) or
marrying the mother

I would hate for him to spend the first years of the child's life looking after it, only for the mother to come back later and 'steal' the child from him. Perhaps, as Squonk suggests, going for adoption would make sense legally and financially.
The above was from Citizens' Advice: speak to them?

would employers require leagal evidence of a child before granting two weeks paternity leave? I have visions of single men puting in for two extra weeks leave every year claiming to be with a different "partner" each time to buck the annual leave system.

Thanks everyone. Its likely he will be getting a court order. She has some mental health issues and has had her kids taken away from her. She apparently has overdosed several times recently despite knowing she is pregnant, and is awaiting a place at a refuge for women where there is history of abuse. Its such a sad story. I barely know the guy, but as a mum I cant not try to help him out!

Ive checked the policy, and he will just about be in the company long enough to qualify for paternity leave. He wont qualify for parental leave as hasnt worked there long enough. However, adoption part says "adoption leave and pay will not be available in circumstances where a child is not newly matched for adoption, for example, when a step-parent is adopting a partners child" Reckon they would view this situation in the same light

We work for a charity, so less likely to be generous money-wise than some companies!

Ill let him know tomorrow. Hes going to go to CAB on Thursday when hes off work, so maybe they have come across this before..unlikely, if no one on mn has, isnt it?!

The mum of a friend of ds3's produced the baby boy and promptly p*ed off travelling. He was brought up by daddy and he has done a fantasic job.
mum sees the boy occassionally when she is in the country.

Just thought a bit of encouragement was in order...

don't forget though, while we do have lots of men here (and very welcome they are too ) it is called mumsnet which may put off a lot of blokes.

For an issue like this, where only a bloke can have experience of it, you may be better off looking on a different parenting site?

I don't know if there is a site specific to dads...

Y'know, just thinking about things - there are still of women who die in childbirth, presumably their partners need to take a fair amount of time off to look after the baby - perhaps you could see if there are some support groups out there along those lines...?

There are other parenting sites????

it may have been a vicious rumour started by dp to get me off mumsnet though