New dad/ long distance

[Babyboy2607]

Hi everyone I’m very new to this and just a bit unsure if everything tbh, my ex partner(absolutely amazing woman) is going to be having our first baby in November, I’m so freaking excited but absolutely terrified at the same time, I moved back home (4 hours from her) after we split due to my mental health then find out we’re having a baby boy, she’s been nothing short of amazing and couldn’t be more proud of her but we’ve came to an agreement that I’ll stay home till the baby is born just to get some more money etc and we can re evaluate our relationship from there, we have a good bond and she’s certainly the love of my life no doubt, basically I’m just terrified of being so far away I feel absolutely helpless and just want to be there to help with everything, she has a brilliant group of people around her and she’s more than capable without my help I just get so upset I don’t really know the point of my post I guess I just worry thanks for letting me get these feelings out mums net

You need to work out how to get back up to her so you can be a dad don’t you. You’ve got responsibilities

Get a job and move back to where they live with no expectations beyond being a good parent.

The relationship issues probably need to take a back seat at the moment.

Think about why you split in the first place. If those issues are still there then adding a baby to the mix isn't going to make things any better.

Congratulations on the baby.

You need to put the baby's interests first and foremost. You getting back together with your ex is not necessarily what's best for the baby.

Your priorities should be:

1. Sorting out your mental health
2. Getting to a stable place in terms of work and finances
3. Learning about how to parent/co-parent
4. Planning how to be geographically closer to the baby to play a meaningful role in parenting

Your relationship with your ex needs to be positive and supportive but getting back together isn't the main thing.

Frankly, if every time you see the baby you start talking about getting back together, you'll increase stress for the mother and make her want you to back off. You can say you'd like to be back together and it's there if she wants it, but don't make it a condition of being involved with the baby.