Whose given up at 40?

[Comfortablechair]

I think 40 is still young enough for me to make in effort in my appearance, clothes, brands, decent haircuts, teeth etc ? About 60% of my mates have given up entirely and make zero effort primarily clothes rubbish haircuts etc. I also don’t think it’s unreasonable to expect this from missus - she had a go at me because I suggested she may wanna have a go at covering up greys. No difference from me I’d do the same and look into hair fixes etc. dunno 🤷‍♂️

i'm 40 husband is 45 and he's more attractive now with his grey peppered hair than ever

Sounds like you want an excuse to dump her for your young hot secretary 🤔

And how is this empowering for the 99.9 percent of women who cannot look like this?

I’m sorry but, even if you are telling the truth, parading extreme genetic outliers as standards of what women can and should look like as they age is reallY bloody unhelpful to women. It’s unrealistic and unattainable.

If she does does look like this, it ain’t skin care, no skin care regime gives you the face volume she has, the skin tightness she has. It just doesn’t. It’s genetics. ( or she is lying to you, or you are lying to me).

@Monochord

And how is this empowering for the 99.9 percent of women who cannot look like this?
I have no idea what your point is. I was simply pushing back against the rhetoric that grey hair by definition makes one look shit. It doesn't. If you look good you'll look good with grey hair. The hair isn't the issue and it's time we stopped seeing grey hair as some sort of death knell

I’m sorry but, even if you are telling the truth, parading extreme genetic outliers as standards of what women can and should look like as they age is reallY bloody unhelpful to women. It’s unrealistic and unattainable.
Again, your point is a non sequitur to my point.

If she does does look like this, it ain’t skin care, no skin care regime gives you the face volume she has, the skin tightness she has. It just doesn’t. It’s genetics. ( or she is lying to you, or you are lying to me).
Why in gods green earth would I spend a precious minute lying^ to you? I don't even know you? What weird universe you dwell in where you consider anything outside your experience must be a lie.^
Of course it's mostly genetics. Where did anyone say it wasn't? They eat well, move daily and look after their skin but of course genetics is a major player.
Although obviously if they baked in the sun all day and smoked and drank alcohol daily I'm pretty sure they wouldn't look this good.

I don't know why you think it's so spectacularly unusual. I see lots of amazing looking women in their 50s. These women don't have the taut skin of a 30 year old but yes, they look amazing. What possibly point would there be showing waynetta slob when trying to make the point that grey hair isn't by definition, ugly or aging

I agree. I look much better in my 50s than I did in my 40s. Perimenopause is a difficult transition. I look younger in my 50s too. And that's with grey hair!

I don't get this either. I think maybe 40 is too young to give up, but I have mate whose 49 and his wife chooses and buys all his clothes. If she didn't do that he'd look like a homeless person probably.
I grey hair now at 48 (in the summer sun it's almost white, but i'm naturally blonde so doesn't look much different.
I'm determined to look my best on most occasions for my wife, or any other woman who wants me. I take pride in it and I don't see it as vain, but it's a lot to do with my confidence - if I feel i look good then I feel good.

Grey hair can make you look older, but you can still have it cut in a cool shape and it takes years off of you

I think 40 is still young enough for me to make in effort in my appearance, clothes, brands, decent haircuts, teeth etc ?

There is nothing attractive about a 40 something man who is into brands, clothes, a fancy haircut and his teeth. Do you also have a Porsche?

My DH spends zero effort on his clothes and fancy haircuts, but because he works out 6 times a week, he looks great at 52.

Turkey Teeth.

Ken doll dyed brown hair.

Half mast too tight jeans.

Naff designer clothes.

If your personal priority is a high standard of self-grooming and you can afford it, it is as good a hobby to have as any. Other people get to spend their money and time on their own choice of interest/priorities.

I agree that in an ideal world everyone would maintain a minimum standard of self-care including things like having clean, maintained clothes, teeth & hair and trying to avoid excessive weight gain (not meaning 'stay the same weight as at age 21') throughout their lives - but if people don't manage that, there is likely to be a reason - and the bar is a lot lower than hair dye or branded clothes.