Long Distance contact with Son

[DadJ93]

Hi everyone,

I have been having long distance contact with my son for the last 3 years.

Me and his Mum are separated and we live 400 miles away from each other.

I have overnight contact with my son once a month, I have him on the first Friday of each month, over night (Friday, Saturday and Sunday)

As the case has been going through court, my ex has recently agreed to me having him stay with me where I live, during his school holidays. (I usually make the 400 mile journey and have him overnight where he lives) The first of these visits is coming up this weekend, where he will be spending an entire week with me and the rest of my family. This is a "trial run" and future extended contact will be determined by it's outcome. As his mum has been extremely difficult about allowing him to make the trip (which is understandable, as it is a very long way, so I'm grateful that she has agreed to it)


I've been reading some other posts about long distance contact, and I've seen a few people say that their child views their father more as an uncle, and less as a father (Albeit, the fathers in these situations seem to be extremely inconsistent with visits and they were very short 1 - 2 hour visits). I've been worried that my son will grow up resenting me, and this has just added fuel to that fire.

I have always been consistent with the contact I have with him, I've never let him down or skipped over visits for anything. When we are together we always have the absolute best time together and I know he loves spending time with me. I always make it as fun filled and exciting for both as us as I possibly can (Just for context, my son is 5 years old). I just want him to have good memories of me and him together.

Does anybody have any long term experience with this? I want to be able to see him more, but the circumstances make it difficult, and it's a costly journey. I know it hurts him having to wait so long between visits, and it really gets to me. I just don't want him to resent me as he grows older. We have a really close relationship, despite the distance and lapse of time.

Any words of advice would be much appreciated.

[Mychitchatdays]

My parents divorced when I was 5. My contact with my father was every two weeks. Always there exactly where he said he would be. Unfortunately, I do think we have a uncle/niece bond.

Only thing I think that could of changed that was more time together. However, I don't resent him. He made the best out of a bad situation.

[MariaLuna]

You are doing great.

Building a relationship with him in his childhood years. The best basis for going forward.

What more can you do?

Single mum here. His dad was never around. It all worked out.

Staying together for the kids in a bad relationship will not work out to anyone's progress in life.