Am considering a divorce if things don’t move as planned and we have different dreams. We do have 2 young children who would be impacted but that’s unfortunately life, and my unhappiness cannot waiver over unreconcilable differences, related to where we want to live and bring up our family (outside of the UK)
wondering so some basic advice
got together 2011 (unowned house)
- married 2013 (lived with me contributed nothing as I earnt paid bills)
- bought new house 2016 (put in joint names)
- sold house 2020 for some small 35k profit total and I repaid mortgage family loans and yeh equity has slowly been eaten away by cost of living
- i work abroad 💯 and family moved with me in 2018 and came back in 2021 due to covid.
- my wife has no savings so has been receiving UC and I pay ~500/600 a month on too for bills, essentials and child care
- i have always bought the cars, paid insurance etc.
- we live a mid-Hugh end standard of living, especially in other location outside uk
- I have made some foregoing investments on her behalf ~20k to start to provide for her future
- i have a pension from policing (9years), and she has a small teaching one (3 years)
- I also I’ve with a chronic critical illness, so live much more in the moment
We are currently in a ok spot, I still have love for her and am in love, but with big decisions looming and commitment challenges to move to a new country where I work and my assets reside for last 5 years is a big deal. It’s fallen through once costing thousands after saying she was unsure. But if that falls again I cannot continue to live apart, mentally it’s ruining me (lack of company, seeing my kids etc). This is a difference of what’s important to us, and whilst we are trying to get there through open comms and some CBT, there are some childhood issues holding her back, and isolation fears after living abroad last time, me working every hour and never being present - we live to learn.
All that said what does a marriage look likeS
- How would marital assets be split? Is is it 50% of gains on the house we sold and what’s left after all other costs
- Are foreign assets treated differently Eg. If I buy a house here with my assets can it be touched
- could I put more in pension to protect in another country
- my fantastic wife is already classed as single parent in uk as I live and pay tax abroad so gets access to benefits. But it’s not an ought to live hence adding 6-700 a month for 2 kids x What would my official liabilities be? I’d want to be able to give them what they want eg. I have saving account for them both with £2000 a year since born (12k and 6k) and can flood that to reduce assets if has leas impact on me as long term it’s going there.
what else should I consider
hoping this post goes nowhere and problem is a nine starter, but need an understanding.
thanks from a dad looking for advice