Is your DC happy to spend time with you? DS 18 months - very clingy and won't happily go to Daddy - it's upsetting him !

[herbgarden]

DS is now 18 months and since about 10 months he's been clingy off and on and would always choose me (his mum) over anyone else. This is really hard on me as when we're together as a family the child care can't be happily shared.

Dh is finding it really hard - sometimes when DS only looks at DH, DS will scream his head off and shout "no no" as if to say "stop looking at me".

He'll never follow dh up to the bath , I have to go too. Today, I took him up, dh came up after and I then left and he screamed and screamed for about 10 mins before eventually calming down and would then let dh give him his milk and read him a story.

I work part time, ds works full time but does do one day nursery pick up and comes home does tea, bath and bed - DS is always happy to see dh when he gets him from nursery and is fine at home with him when I'm not there - it is the me being there, leaving or handing over that he won't do.

DH is getting really down about it and said today that he's getting worried, I have tried to reassure him that it's a phase, it'll pass and it will be better but I know he's on a downer.

I often leave them for a morning or an afternoon at the weekends so that they can have a bit of bonding time but conversely I don't get to see dh either !...

Any similar stories much appreciated !

no advise but my DH is going to be so pleased that someone else is having this problem! Our son looks at DH as if he's hurt him in some way. Its as if DS thinks his dad is going to take hm away from me forever or something. All I can say is def a stage, he has been in and out of this one a few times. Also we find after a weekend or holiday the worse, as if DS punishing his dad for going back to work or not seeing him when gets up in morning etc. Glad we are not the only ones! Good luck

my friend went through the same problem at the same age. Its just a phase and now everytime i see her her dd is cuddling her daddy. Its all part of the growing up process. Soon all he will want is daddy and you will fill pushed out. My eight year old nephew loved mummy until he was about four(about the time they can do things for themselves) and then it was all daddy. The sweetest thing i ever heard was my nephew singing 'the boys are back in town' when he saw his daddy after not seeing him for a week. So tell dh he has got plenty of time to look forward to

Phew, I might have to tell him - DH started to do the morning routine but as he gets older when he goes in ds shouts "Mummy" and occasionally when dh says "no, it's Daddy" he'll start yelling "Mummy" "Mummy"...it's heartbreaking to hear. Like you say, it's horrible when they look at their own Daddy in that way. It would almost be better if ds was our second and the first was more loving ! I am sure when he's older and wants to kick a ball around I'm not going to get a look in but for now, I know we have to just go with it...........

It'll change. Happened with both my two, because I was their main carer, they both preferred spending time with me, they wanted me to play with them, me to take them to bed, me to comfort them. dh got a bit pissed off with it, as did I as I couldn't even have a crap in peace! But they do change and if he keeps making an effort then he'll get there.

Set aside one chore he does with ds every day, such as bathing him. Don't take it in turns even, just make it a daddy thing and don't get involved. Pretty soon your ds will accept that daddy does the baths and this can be their bonding moment.

But this is a funny age, they get aware of stranger danger at this age too and they are just freaked out by everything.

It is a phase!

Oh DS did this.
Partly i wonder if it is jealousy - they want to monopolise Mummy so that daddy can't talk to her, touch her etc. Bcause DS was also insanely jealous at that age - had to prise hinself into the cente of any hug, and once deliberately pured a beaker of juice into the centre of the duvet that we were sitting in bed under!

It will pass...he will be a grown-up all-daddy's boy before you know it.

completely normal..ds and dd2 both like this. DS grew out of it a little more by 2.6yrs and was happied to spwnd time with daddy. DD2 at the min is 13mths and will breifly glance at dh but wants to be on my knee following me around etc.It does get better as they get older..or if you have a child like dd1 who doesnt care who does stuff as long as its done

"and once deliberately pured a beaker of juice into the centre of the duvet that we were sitting in bed under"

Yep. DS did that...

"Set aside one chore he does with ds every day, such as bathing him. Don't take it in turns even, just make it a daddy thing " is a good idea.

DS was very mummy-centric for a while. I took over preparing him for bed; pyjamas, tooth brushing, reading a story, and mummy only came in to give him a goodnight kiss. DP was slightly put out when he started going down quite happily without her, but I was exceedingly chuffed.

It's a phase. Crap phase, but it passes...

yes we also have the screaming when dh comes in from work and wants to give me a kiss or tries to hug me - in a mean moment dh turns round grins at ds and goes "I got her first" ....