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How to suggest to dp you're into getting spanked

21 replies

JaneDoeDoesntKnow · 07/02/2008 13:34

The title says it all really. My dp is a lovely fella but very straight down the line when it comes to sex and gets easily embarrassed by anything that deviates from the norm. I've tried to bring it up as a joke a few times but he hasn't taken it on board. Do most men like that sort of thing or have I just been going out with weirdos in the past? How can I tell him without making him bolt for the door? Any suggestions? (not a troll just would be mortifed to used my usual name)

OP posts:
littlelapin · 07/02/2008 13:36

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morningpaper · 07/02/2008 13:38

you should watch the film Secretary and say "ooer missus I'd like a bit of that"

littlelapin · 07/02/2008 13:46

This reply has been deleted

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ShinyHappyPeopleHoldingHands · 07/02/2008 13:46

Buy one of those "kits" from Ann Summers that include hand cuffs and a paddle.. I think they might be called "bondage for beginners" or something; give it to him for Valentines day in the spirit of having a bit of light hearted fun. And when you use it (make sure you do.. few drinks, nice evening to get rid of inhibitions) go absolutely mental with ecstacy so he gets the drift that you like!

harpsichordcarrier · 07/02/2008 13:47

what about some books to leave around?
I think Imay have heard about some, yuou know, from a friend
let me find some links

ShinyHappyPeopleHoldingHands · 07/02/2008 13:49

Madamez has probably written some!!

By the way, can someone please tell me exactly was it is Madamez does for a living? I have asked before and not been answered.. but others seem to make casual reference to it like it's known generally..

The other day she was casually mentioning about how many fannies she had seen in the line of work....!

harpsichordcarrier · 07/02/2008 13:50

don't worry, not too scary, click away

harpsichordcarrier · 07/02/2008 13:51

tum te tum te tum

harpsichordcarrier · 07/02/2008 13:53

oh lordy would you LOOK at my recently viewed items on Amazon

FioFio · 07/02/2008 13:57

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Cappuccino · 07/02/2008 13:58

harpsi wtf?

ShinyHappyPeopleHoldingHands · 07/02/2008 13:59

She's not though is she? IS she? I am really gullible. You need to spell it out. I thought Terry Wogan WAS playing the violin (and was impressed) until I read the rest of your thread.. and I am nowhere near as old as your gran must be..

DaDaDa · 07/02/2008 14:00

The thought has never floated my boat, but Secretary was quite saucy. Why does James Spader always play weirdos...?

Anyhow, advice already here seems fine. I'm sure he'll be happy to oblige if it's nothing too full on! Give him something he likes in return. Probably a fried egg sandwich or a night off doing the dishes.

JaneDoeDoesntKnow · 07/02/2008 14:47

Tried to get him to watch the secretary with me. Think he was a bit put off by the name and the xbox seemed more appealing. I on the other had a great night in bed watching it

Maybe try the whole valentines day approach and get him mildly inebriated. Those books would scare the living daylights out of him!

OP posts:
Pan · 07/02/2008 19:42

Jane - maybe it's time to be a little more bare about what you'd like, rather than just joking?? If he is that shy about such things, a he will find the jokyness a good reason to dismiss the whole idea, yes??

and all of the gimmicks may too forward for him? next time you are exchanging secretions, try leaning into his ear, at the right time, with a heavy, hot breath, and firmly demand to be spanked. Now!

poodlepusher · 07/03/2008 17:32

Why not try the question "would you smack my arse a little?"

madamez · 07/03/2008 17:36

SHiny: I do lots of things (including Avon rep, humanist weddings celebrant and now market research data collector) but what is probably relevant is that I worked for about 10 years on various adult magazines and still freelance for them. Oh, and I do chatline work as well.
Sorry for hijack, OP. Have you and your DP ever had a conversation about fantasies? You could start by asking him about some of his, and you never know, he might be thinking about putting you over his knee but be too much of a Nice Man to dare to ask. But whatever his fantasy, if it isn;t revoltting (to you) or dangerous, offer to give it a go if he'll give yours a go, etc.

Alexa808 · 09/03/2008 23:16

Check out Coco De Mer and order books, or book a course or private session (all on their website)...they're a bit pricey, but very lovely products.

EricL · 10/03/2008 10:48

It's an awkward one this.

You are right to keep suggesting this to him as these little games and turn-ons are great fun for both of you and keep your sex life nice and perky.

But you do have to tread carefully as putting someone under a lot of pressure to do something he doesn't feel comfortable with might make things worse.

I love all this kind of stuff and the DW now knows she can discuss anything with me like this and we both entertain each others fantasies - but this can take a while sometimes to get to this stage.

Keep on with the gentle hints and i'm sure he will come round eventually.

Good luck!

sarah73076 · 20/03/2008 23:52

When you get him in bed next, or preferably on the sofa so he's sitting up, get him really fired up with a lot of kissing, then manouver yourself so that you're across his lap, take his hand and spank yourself lightly with it. Give him a naughty grin and say how much you liked it. Ask him to do it again. Usually if he's already turned on he's less likely to balk at the idea.

Not that I have any experience with this of course.

Good luck!

Mumcentreplus · 21/03/2008 00:27

I like Sarahs suggestion...use his hand to spank ya bottom...if he looks like he's gonna hurl probably not a good he will probably love it..alot of men do (so I've been told ahem)

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