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unstable-ex

2 replies

Badgersnoses · 24/01/2023 15:08

So child services called me two months ago regarding my daughter in a bit of a panic, she was asking if my ex ( primary school age daughter, shared care lives with arrangement for the last three years) had contacted me to inform me of her cocaine use yet because she had reported it to her therapist and it had gone up the line to child services as a red flag to which i replied the obvious no. She also told me that my ex had after her first disclosure made another one regarding her boyfriends mental health to her therapist , apparently he is psychotic and regularly looses the plot and accuses her of being a sex worker which has led to six police visits for domestic violence to the address in 8 months( interestingly caffcass officers did a soft search for the court and found absolutely nothing about them). So i have taken my daughter to live with me until we can go back to court as her house is considered unsafe with her partner there (my ex also told the social worker she has diagnosis of BPD, PTSD and generalised anxiety all caused by her decades long controlling relationship with me) but her own mental health isn't mentioned within the social workers report. She is a narcissist beyond any doubt and delayed the social workers contacting me by telling her i was abusive (no proof exists of any abuse by me aside from a few accusations she made to the police which i was never questioned about, i have no criminal record ). Now after three years of her constantly telling anyone who would lend and ear about these false unevidenced abuse claims i had enough so took out a non mol order , nothing draconian just to stop her telling fibs. Her response was to take out one against me which i haven't read yet but none of it would be evidencable and it will serve as justification as to why i need an non mol order in the first place, she hasn't seen her child in two months now, my partner emails her weekly to invite her to the house for contact and also try and set up regular facetime calls but she wont engage and changes the subject although regularly sends benign emails as contact , in two months she has made one hour long facetime call where she was clearly high as a kite and unable to sustain a conversation and a half hour facetime call, asked for a screen in court and according to the judge "ticked every box on the no mol order" and has accused my partner of harassment for trying to arrange contact, the non mol order she applied for would prevent us from communication in any way and prevent us from trying to get her to establish contact with her daughter , am i missing something here ? the family court date isn't for weeks by when she wont have seen her kid for three months despite being invited by us and her kid regularly
any thoughts and comments welcomed because it seems unfathomable that a maternal parent would do that to their kid to me

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Hoppinggreen · 24/01/2023 15:10

All sounds very difficult and it’s good that your daughter is safe with you.
Why is your partner the one to organise contact etc? Will your ex not engage with you directly?

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Badgersnoses · 29/01/2023 18:33

Sorry for the late reply I had signing in problems ,my ex is very toxic towards me and was abusive throughout our relationship however I now have a copy of her non mol statement she submitted and she has admitted to financial abuse and controlling behaviour in two of her accusations in her statement without realising as she was in such a rush to admit it to get legal aid to defend mine and also admitted to a mental health diagnosis within it (which she is of course blaming on me )

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