Do girls without Dads tend to have sex earlier?

[Daddster]

There are quite a few pyschologists who seem to think so and there seems to be some anecotal evidence to back it up. Seems that teenage girls without a father may seek from older boys the male presence she is missing, and end up having her longing and trust taken advantage of.

There seems to have been a bit of this when I was at school, although the primary brake on sexual relations appears to have been education. There was I waiting for my first kiss at 15, when some of my less academically gifted peers were becoming parents!!

my father left when i was 7, i could have lost my virginity at any time from 14, but i waited til i was 16 , and it was with a my bf of 4 months

My father was emotionally absent and at times physically - we were at boarding school whilst he worked overseas and when we did live in the UK he remained overseas only coming home at holiday time.

I would say the fact that he was emotionally absent had a far more detrimental effect on my self esteem than anything.

I lost my virginity at 15 in a horrendous situation that still traumatises me today and whilst I wasnt overly promiscuous I certainly made some really bad choices mainly through an inability to say no and a desire to be desired.

My elder sister was very promiscuous though and lacked self esteem for the same reasons as me.

I personally think making a young woman feel beautiful, cofident and in control of herself and her decisions has so much more to do with this that simply not having a father.

A mother can do those things by example and by telling her daughter these things from an early stage. I have just had my first dd and am terrified she will grow up like me.

Wise words, tullytwo.

I have two DDs and was slightly worried as I find it difficult to combine f/t job with giving them the attention they deserve.

I think girls who haven't grown up with a loving male parent figure (some fatherless children have this relationship with another relative - and some two-parent families dont provide good loving role models anyway - but statistically these are more likely to be girls who have grown up with no father at home) are more likely to crave male affection, approval and nurture. I think there are a great many young girls who get pregnant because they want a man to cuddle them and tell them they are special. Which is heartbreaking, really.

my father left when i was five and i didn't have a male role model at all. I lost my virginity at sixteen to someone i didn't know very well at all in an attempt to 'just get it over with'. I was very promiscious throughout my twenties as i equated sex wuth love, not love with sex ( if you catch my drift) I do think it was seeking male approval in the absence of a father, but teh men weren't a lot older than me - i think it was more to not understanding how boys/men are in the absence of a father or father figure.

i have aloving father who is till with my mum after 27 years, although he did work alot when we were young. i lost my virginity at 14, although not under pressure and was a positive experience.

Interesting, and it wouldn't surprise me if this was the case. My father left when I was 4 and I lost my virginity at 14. I was then extremely promiscuous throughout my twenties which was def down to low self esteem although I didn't have enough self knowledge to realise it at the time. Mind you, my mother didn't exactly help with my self esteem so it probably wasn't all down to my father leaving.

There may be something in it, there may not be (if you don;t have a father but have a kind older brother, granddad, uncle or cousin you will get the supportive male presence). But I'm usually a bit [hmmm] about these sort of stories as they almost always carry a bit of an undercurrent of 'everything that;s wrong with the world would be fixed if only women would stop wanting to be human and would just accept that they are service appliances for the convenience of men, women mustn't think they can raise children without men because women must obey and service men above all').

I had no dad (well parents were divorced, I did have one but he was bit of a dead loss)

god I was sooooo ooooold when I lost my virginity. I'm not telling you. It's embarrassing

and Greeny I found it exactly the opposite - I didn't crave male attention or approval. I watched my mother hold down two jobs and have a life without a man and thought, that's great, who needs them?

i agree with cappucino, i dont feel like i lost out by may father not being there, in fact, the type of man he was, i feel i became a better person without him in my life

Utter rubbish. Circumstance might lead young girls to grow up quicker as they might have to make more choices earlier at home ie. financially or otherwise. My father died when I was 12, so I find this sort of broad statement complete rubbish and I have PMT!

My father left when I was six, my sister 8.

While my sister was sexually active before 16, I waited until I felt the right person came along.

I was 16 & am still with him.

My friends, some of whom were from 2 parent homes were active at 13. Some later. Same for friends from single parent homes.

My goddaughter, who had no male role model was 17.

My father left when I was 3, my 'next' father my mother left when I was 7 (he decided when my sister was born he preferred her) and yes I was sexually active from a very early age.

I was actually wondering about this myself the other day.

my father was laways around, i lost my virginity fairly early - 14.

I was horny, not desperately lonely!

Mine left at 11, saw him on and off over the years but nothing regular from when I was about 13. Lost my virginity at 18 and am still with the same man. It wasn't religion reasons or anything either!

I would agree with the OP. It was true for me. My mum left my dad when I was 5 and I craved affection all through my childhood and definitely got sexually taken advantage of from 13 on because I wanted to be held.

But I didn't get any physical affection from my mother as a child either so as others have said, this may have been a factor.

Apparently girls in households with no men reach the menarche (beginning of periods) early/earlier due to the lack of male hormones in their home. This could partially account for them having sex earlier, if this is the case.

But it would be a huge generalisation to assume that all girls without a father or father figure have sex earlier because they crave male attention. There must be an emotional aspect to this but there would be many things that could mitigate the circumstances.

I lost my mum at 9 and was brought up by my dad from then on. I was fairly promiscuous from 14 onwards and although I don't exactly regret it or think it 'scarred me for life' or anything like that, I do think I was looking for attention. My dad was perfectly competent and loving but not the same as having my mum and I think I was quite needy but it came across as over-confident and loud.

So I think it's perfectly possible that teenagers lacking in parental role models and clear boundaries in some sort of way might well be promiscuous earlier than others - not necessarily just the dad being absent though; could be a range of reasons.

and have just read Pages' post about physical affection and that rings a bit true. My dad wasn't very cuddly and showed his affection in other ways, whereas my mum was very hands on and I guess I missed out on that. We've made sure dh is very very tactile and affcetionate with the dds - I think it's important to have contact like this from at least one and preferably both parents.

It's interesting... I've never really acknowledged that aspect of my upbringing before, but it makes perfect sense.

The research shows (very) clearly that girls who have fathers who are highly involved are at a lower risk of unintended pregnancies than girls who have fathers who are uninvolved/absent.

The research doesn't show why, but there are theories...

• For a girl, her dad (or father figure) represents the male sex, and so her relationship with him is a crucible for learning about relating to men...

• So if he is highly involved and positive, the chances are that she will learn what it feels like to be respected and loved by a man. She's likely to be less tolerant of abusive/disrespectful men in her live.

• The dad offers more protection/guidance about young men directly to her.

• Girls without a close father figure are more likely to crave the affection of men.

Those are the theories, but the research is very well established:

Girls with closely involved dads are more likely to become pregnant unintentionally than those with absent or uninvolved dads.

Tom
www.dad.info

Dammit - last line was obviously wrong!

Meant to say that the research shows:
Girls with closely involved dads are less likely to become pregnant unintentionally than those with absent or uninvolved dads.

I am exactly the same as Cappucino. Never had a dad (he died when I was 5 months). Never craved male attention and happily planned life and children without considering a man (until I met DH!). I lost my virginity quite late.

My father left before I started school. I watched my mum work hard, do well (yes be totally knackered) and learnt not to be dependent on men. I lost my virginity at 18, and am still married to the same man 25 years later. My dsis's have also not been promiscuous, nor lost their virginity at very young ages.