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Shared residence order

3 replies

Neily1 · 23/10/2022 07:46

Hello one and all,

The Children's Mum and I have had a shared residence order in place for around 12 years which states she is to have the children 50 odd days a year, but she has never adhered to it. In fact once she received the order she has merely used it as a way to not pay any maintenance and to avoid anything parent related for she merely waves the order about and claims she does all on it and sends it off to CMS so they believe she sees them half the time and the Schools despite never seeing her themselves has her down as Primary Guardian adding evidence she uses to avoid any parental matters.

She tells me she has parental responsibility in all aspects of the children's lives and then tells me I should be ashamed of myself for daring to ask her ONE time to pay for a school trip. Do not mistake me. I am not claiming she has no rights and the schools should not inform her of education matters, but she just uses whatever she gets as a stick to beat me.

My question is this. The School has us both down as Primary guardians and Legal etc as if the parenting is 50/50. She as I say does not see them or pays a penny for them, but just uses the order to cause as much trouble for us as she can with the school. Should she not be regarded as a Primary guardian?

Thank you

OP posts:

Chucklefuck · 23/10/2022 07:49

50 days a year isn't 50/50 though Confused

Or is that a typo?


JohnAlex · 23/10/2022 07:52


I agree it is not 50/50. The Schools have her down as if we do have the children half the time each.


Chucklefuck · 23/10/2022 10:12

Right, so what does the court order say? If it says 50 nights a year then send a copy to the CMS and let them deal with the maintenance issue.

As for the school, if she has PR then you can't just cut her out, she does have a right to be informed and to have some say. But can you not go back to court for a "lives with" order (if that's not what you have already) which will mean you are responsible for day to day decisions about their care and education etc?

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