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New seperated dad crazy fast divorce head spinning

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DeepseaDad · 11/10/2022 04:48

Hi Dad's, and Mum's. I grew up in South Africa and met my soon to be ex wife(takes 26 weeks now) 20ueqrs ago and we've been married for 16 years. She came to me after the rules changed in June and summarily asked for a divorce saying she's not happy doesn't love me anymore and wants out. I've got an 11year old daughter and provided for the family until I injured my back in 2019 . I was a deep sea diver offshore. I subsequently started a all.restorwtion company that pays me pittence but after Carina virus my wife said she was depressed and she changed.
I'm really sad that I'm the cause of her unhappiness as by all accounts everyone says I'm one of the nicest people they know generous and kind but apparently I'm not family orientated or into her family as I'm always working home late etc ...the usual sorry with hard working guys.

Anyways because we still get on we worked together to sort things out in 4 months and have sold the house she's taken what she wanted from the joint account and we've done this all on our own terms. I moved I to a rental and she is busy buying a house also went on a spa weekend and a holiday with her sister while I was depressed and alone.

I look after my daughter a week about but am struggling to fall out of love with the person I was with or maybe the idea.of the life I had and ultimately planned for. Now I'm out of money just ticking over wife had a promotion and extra inheritance and is written into will and all sorts which I was hoping would sustain us as a family.

Nevertheless that's all gone now and it's material stuff so means nothing but feel really sad that I made someone so unhappy that they couldn't respect me and my daughter enough to create an easy exit from a marriage they weren't happy with. I know it's their personality but I feel I didn't know them at all and maybe they didn't know me.

Anyways I found focussing on my daughter and genuinely wanting my ex to be happy is quite a liberating feeling. I know happiness isn't a place or thing or stuff but I do hope she finds it as she's a good person.

Struggling with feeling alone mind. Have a new girlfriend and she's amazing but sorta feel ashamed that I failed and self esteem is pretty low which sucks. Just wondering how long does it generally take to purge yourself of 20ueqrs with someone. 🤷

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