non resident dads..is this right ????

[mamazee]

My partner does not live with his 12 year old son. His ex is re-married and her husband pays for DS private education. The private school was chosen with no consultation with my partner and once decided he was asked to pay towards it, he refused as

1. he does not agree with the choice of school.
2. we cannot afford it.

He does pay maintenance and pay towards general stuff ie music, sport equipent etc

He would , however, like to know how his son is doing and term dates etc. the school has a password system on their website to access school dates. so my Dh wrote to the school to ask for the password and to have progress reports sent to him and info on parents evenings.

They have written back and said NO..
apparently they are contractually obligated to DS mum and her husband as they pay the fees ???
If he wants to attend open evenings he has to ask HER ??

How does that works ?? its like paying to be a parent ?

I know that state schools have to let BOTH parents go to open evenings and get reports/dates but is it for real that private schools are outside the law ??

Surely he should be able to get AT LEAST the dates ??

he is currently getting a court order as she
gave her new husband parental responsibility and NOT his dad...could that be it ??

HELP..

Yes, I'm pretty sure that PR gives a parent a say in school/religious decisions.
On the information you give there seems no reason why your partner shouldn't have PR and it sounds as if he is making moves to get this.
I'm sorry it's so difficult. Hope it works out for your dss and his dad.

Was your partner married to his ex? If so, then he will have PRR's and these cannot just be transferred to someone else....it does not work like this. If she is trying to get a court order to this effect then your partner would have to extinguish his PRR's and I take it from what you are saying that he would never do that.

If he has PRR's he has just as much of a say in his sons life as the mother and that includes being kept up to date wrt education/schooling etc...

Karen999 is quite right in that if your partner was married to his ex he will automatically have PR.
I was assuming he had not been married and might have to apply for it. If he is involved with his son and pays maintenance etc. there should not be a problem. His ex might not want to agree to it, but he would eventually get it.

Oh dear, I feel for you both.

A close friend of mine was in a similar situation. He won every court case and got every order, but still ended up seeing very little of his child as the mother simply ignored the orders. Please keep it out of court if you can. It's expensive, long-drawn-out and it tends to entrench positions.

I hope it gets sorted amicably.

Horseshit.

They are REQUIRED to give him the same level of information to both parents. If not, he can take them to the cleaners.

I read this in the past couple of weeks, (in the context of using email instead of the traditional crushed note in a schoolbag, as that discriminates against absent parents) so I think it was something techy, like the register.

That's the way it is. I'm going to carry on looking, as then you can quote chapter and verse to the fuckers and watch them sweat.

Gotcha!

education.guardian.co.uk/egweekly/story/0,,2225174,00.html

And the guidelines referred to by the article.

www.dfes.gov.uk/publications/guidanceonthelaw/dfeepub/jun00/050600/index.htm

And the relevant section from the guidelines. For the purpose of these guidelines you are defined as a parent if you have PR, or if you just happen to be the father.

Provision of information to parents

16. In cases where the school does not know the whereabouts of a parent with whom the pupil does not live - referred to here as a 'non-resident' parent - it should make the resident parent aware that the non-resident parent is entitled to be involved in the child's education; and request that information is passed on to the non-resident parent. If, in extreme cases, the resident parent refuses to share information with the non-resident parent and also refuses to provide contact details so that the school can deal directly with the non-resident parent, the school can do nothing more. It would clearly be unreasonable to expect schools to expend resources searching for non-resident parents. However, if the non-resident parent subsequently contacts the school and requests access to information, the school should provide it to that parent direct - after taking reasonable steps to satisfy itself that the individual is, in fact, the child's parent.

Last I checked Independent schools were still under the jurisdiction of the State, and bound by the Education Act 1996 (where the above definition of parent is taken.)

The guidance leaflet is listed as being for the attention of all head teachers. I'm not seeing any caveats there.