I am hard to buy presents for.

[larkstar]

May sound weird but it stresses me slightly when my wife and daughters want to buy me something - I wish I could make it easy for them but I struggle to think of things I want - you'd think I would know but honestly I can't think of things and a) I would like them to be able to get me something because genuinely they do want to be able to and b) if I leave it to them - they buy things I don't need or want and I invariably return them or ask them to get a refund.

I'm 60 - just retired last Nov - I have enough money to live off and savings - I really don't and never have had lists of things - material things/possessions that I want to buy - I don't waste any money on things I don't need. My hobbies are all creative - mainly playing the guitar, song writing, I dabble with painting - if anything I just want time to myself more than anything - to be left alone for days on end. I have a huge book collection - I'm always reading more than one book but honestly I have more than enough books so I told people to stop buying me books a few years ago - I stopped too. I don't buy CD's or download music any more - I have enough and can stream what I want but I'm more interested in making my own music. My bass needs a set up - I am thinking of buying a new acoustic - my existing guitar is 25+ years old and the sound hole is eaten away (plectrum damage), frets are showing signs of wear - it's perfectly playable - I have several thousand to spend if I want to - I just can't be arsed to go looking TBH - these are decisions that are very personal and take time - these interests are things I can't really involve anyone else in. Maybe tickets for a comedy gig or theatre would do - but difficult for anyone else to buy - the dates might not work out. I'm not so interested in live gigs any more - they attract too many d*heads who spoil it for others IMHO. So - time to myself is the only thing I really crave. More and better sex would be on the list but... anyway. I've been learning Spanish on my own for nearly 3 years - but I have app subscriptions and no end of books/resources.

I can't be the only person that's like this. Maybe I have no imagination. I'm close to just telling people to not bother - unless someone has any bright ideas - maybe you've been surprised by something you never thought of? I do all the cooking and I rarely eat out - I cook pretty well and it just isn't worth it - I don't value the experience.

First world problems and all that. Thoughts?

The thing with books is there are new ones being published all the time. Do you have favourite authors that might have a new one for Christmas?
Favourite snacks? Drink? Shower Gel? Just suggest stuff like that.
One thing I notice on mumsnet is there's a lot of "I don't know what buy so and so - budget is £100" which is (in my opinion) a crazy amount of money to spend on a "I hope they like this" gift.
Obviously I don't know your family's budget but tell them "no more than £20 worth" - so new book, a few favourite snacks and a bottle of your favourite drink. Sorted !!

You need to find your whimsy! Or a charity you could get behind that your family could donate to in your name. Or vouchers for time, company, shared experience.

Have you been to Spain? Perhaps that's an idea? Shared experiences are lovely way to spend time with family and it's often far more beautiful and interesting away from the touristy course.

Www.paradores.es amazing Spanish accommodation comprised mostly or restored old buildings in interesting locations. You can book a series of nights and travel between them as a driving holiday. Most have excellent restaurants specialising in the local cuisine.

Well, we are the same. We have got lots of stuff, and if we want something, we tend to buy it when we want or need it, not wait for an occasion.

But we do cook each other a special meal, or make a card or plan a bit of an outing , doesn’t have to be a big deal…just an marking of the date or occasion. Actually I do this not just for birthdays or anniversaries but for calendar days (equinox, solstices) saints’ days of significance. I think it is good to notice and honour the passing and circulation of time.

I would be quite happy if no one ever bought me a present ever again, so I understand where you are coming from.

However, people seem to struggle with concept and if you want to accept gifts to keep them happy, how about thinking about the things you dislike doing? Then ask them to either give you a ‘voucher’ for the job if they live with you, e.g a week off emptying the bins or that they will sew the buttons back on a favourite shirt for you, or perhaps pay for and arrange someone to do the job for you (window cleaner, someone to clean the gutters/car etc).

Ticket master does vouchers then you can choose what to use them for, or vouchers/being taken for a meal out, day trip somewhere, gallery / exhibition tickets, brunch- any number of similar things

Just ask for a charity donation or sponsorship, that way they they “buy” in your name, and the benefit is felt where it’s needed.

Magazine subscription
Tickets to shows/experiences
I know what you mean though.

Really nice socks?

It's very hard. I don't really like receiving presents and I'm in my 40's and I hate buying when I don't know what to get someone. My husband and I don't do gifts for each other we just go out for a meal or show if we can. I haven't bought my dad a present in years because he's like you and we just get a card and bring the grandkids around. We'll make a cake and although he is a better cook then I am there are things he doesn't make that he likes to eat so I might make those.
Do you wear a particular fragrance/ brand of shirt/ T-shirts/ polo/ jumpers that someone could buy you each year so they feel they are giving you something? I know not surprising or original but they have something to fall back on.
I'm rubbish at sorting out photos. I think that would be a great present for me, someone printing the good ones and making an album for me.