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Unexpected communication

2 replies

Aizus · 20/08/2022 08:10

So back in 2016 the mother of my child and myself broke up our son was two at the time, in 2018 he came to live with me on a full time basis, after she placed him in care and got me done for harassment.

Last time she saw him was for an hour in may 2021

Now out of no where I got a text from her asking to see him, I said yes because co parenting I believe is still possible to some degree regardless of what she put me and my son through.

Yesterday she came over and we spent 4 hours together , took our son to the beach and for some food.

Now she texts me on the regular and I text back thinking nothing of it

But my current girlfriend isn't too happy in regards too this all. She did ask if the mother knew about me and her , and I did say she is aware I'm seeing someone but i stil feel like the bad guy

My son's mother has told me about how she is buying a house
I cant help but think, what's her motive , why all of a sudden is she speaking to me again and being nice.

She has mentioned she is no longer in a relationship but it is been 6 years since we split and I've been in a relationship for 6 months now

OP posts:

pablo1988 · 15/09/2022 17:09

Firstly, putting the needs of your child as you have done is what is important - if there is any possibility of your child seeing their mother in a was that is safe and not to the detriment of your child, then that is always a good thing, but I would be wary of how much time they spend together, at least initially.

What were the circumstances which led to your child being placed into care? Does the mum still have PR? or did the local authority apply for PR through court?? Do the local authority know that she is back in contact with the child??

I suppose it can't be very nice for you partner, however, your contact with your child's mother will be something that they will need to get used to if this is an ongoing thing. Depending on the circumstances, I would advise the local social services that your child's mother has sought contact, especially if there has been prior involvement with them. I'm sure you've done this, but letting your partner know that this is for your child's benefit, and not something you thought you'd have to deal with. With any luck, she will be understanding of this in time, and you need to support each other through this if you are able to. Probably not the easiest start to the relationship, but you'll need to place your child's needs above hers, i feel - if she understands your predicament, then you should be okay!

As for the motives of your child's mother, letting the LA know about the recent contact will help to alleviate some of the worries that you may have by discussing it with them. Again, if contact is to continue, it needs to remain safe. Also, your child may have their own feelings about seeing their mother -something to consider.


Bard6817 · 23/11/2022 12:40

Be wary.

Focus on your son. Take the gf with you on meets.

Dont go back. You never go back on the same terms as you left. It didn’t work for a reason.

Good luck.

My ex never got in touch and i have zero contact with my son, so if that chance ever came up, i know it would only be him that mattered.

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