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Original poster

Partner not allowed to see his children

41 replies

Brewer1977 · 11/06/2022 16:49

My partner, has constantly had problems gaining access to his kids, if he makes any attempt too when his ex does not want him too, She tells the children the most awful lies about him.
He is afraid to go up against her because if he does the fallout towards the children is horrible. He pays for his children , but she constantly asks him for more money and if he can’t ( as in he has nothing left) she will tell the kids they have to stop their clubs and activities because “Daddy is a druggy and out with slags”
about 6 weeks ago he had a breakdown after he was stopped by the police for speeding. He then found that she had gained so many points for speeding and because the car is still in his name and registered at his old address because he left the car for her.
she did not forward to him any of the court letters ( he would of paid the fines and taken the wrap) he was banned, he needs to drive for his job so he lost his job. Which meant no money which meant he was not allowed to see the kids.
because of the breakdown and her telling the kids he is a piece of sh*t he hasn’t contacted them he was just broken.
he has started talking about reaching out, he is very fragile. They’ll be major fallout at first she will be vile, however if anyone has any advice on how he should reach out ?

OP posts:
CandyLeBonBon · 12/06/2022 19:49

Another one not understanding why he's been banned if he wasn't driving the car?

SuziSecondLaw · 12/06/2022 19:52

Brewer1977 · 11/06/2022 16:49

My partner, has constantly had problems gaining access to his kids, if he makes any attempt too when his ex does not want him too, She tells the children the most awful lies about him.
He is afraid to go up against her because if he does the fallout towards the children is horrible. He pays for his children , but she constantly asks him for more money and if he can’t ( as in he has nothing left) she will tell the kids they have to stop their clubs and activities because “Daddy is a druggy and out with slags”
about 6 weeks ago he had a breakdown after he was stopped by the police for speeding. He then found that she had gained so many points for speeding and because the car is still in his name and registered at his old address because he left the car for her.
she did not forward to him any of the court letters ( he would of paid the fines and taken the wrap) he was banned, he needs to drive for his job so he lost his job. Which meant no money which meant he was not allowed to see the kids.
because of the breakdown and her telling the kids he is a piece of sh*t he hasn’t contacted them he was just broken.
he has started talking about reaching out, he is very fragile. They’ll be major fallout at first she will be vile, however if anyone has any advice on how he should reach out ?

Reach out to who? His ex wife? He wouldn't if she was that bad, he'd go through court.. I've no experience with any of this so forgive me if I'm wrong, but surely everybody knows that you need to go through court if an ex partner is difficult.
Something sounds strange about his story. I'm not suggesting ex isn't as awful as she sounds, but it doesn't sound like your dp comes up smelling like roses either..

FishcakesWithTooMuchCoriander · 12/06/2022 19:55

EdieMay1977 · 12/06/2022 19:27

If he contested it she would Say the most awful lies about him… I have heard her with my own ears and seen it with my own eyes

Except the police will have photographic evidence of who was driving.

even a vicious ex who lies cannot fabricate that.

I just do not believe he’d simply accept the points, ban and job loss rather than have a court declare her a liar.

You might have been with him the last time he was caught speeding, but that doesn’t mean he didn’t accrue 9 points in his license himself.

stepuporshutup · 12/06/2022 20:05

Absolutely none of this is true. If he has not changed the car ownership into her name yes the summons would go to her address and she could fill in the summons and say he was driving. Therefore he would get the points on his licence the DVLA would then inform him he has x amount of points on his licence which would alert him to something not right.
What address is on his licence?
He is lying to you about all of the points, and you know it op.
What part of crazy would someone just say ok hands up they are all.my points and just shrug when they lost their job as a result.

Get rid of him there is a reason why he is not allowed to see his children and I am thinking the reason is not his ex wife

bcc89 · 12/06/2022 20:39

He sounds very "poor me" and needs to take some responsibility for his own life and stop blaming his (probably shitty) ex for everything. He was the one speeding, he didn't change things to being in her name, he didn't fight a ban, he hasn't fought to see his kids. He needs to grow up.

Goodskin46 · 12/06/2022 20:47

stepuporshutup · 12/06/2022 20:05

Absolutely none of this is true. If he has not changed the car ownership into her name yes the summons would go to her address and she could fill in the summons and say he was driving. Therefore he would get the points on his licence the DVLA would then inform him he has x amount of points on his licence which would alert him to something not right.
What address is on his licence?
He is lying to you about all of the points, and you know it op.
What part of crazy would someone just say ok hands up they are all.my points and just shrug when they lost their job as a result.

Get rid of him there is a reason why he is not allowed to see his children and I am thinking the reason is not his ex wife

This.

Hoppinggreen · 12/06/2022 20:50

Mate

Pixiedust1234 · 12/06/2022 21:26

oh dear...have you really fallen for all his lies?

So many excuses. So many "poor me". Tell him to get a grip and go to cab to sort out the driving mess, then job centre. Then he can go to court to get access to his children. In the meantime you need to take your blinkers off and see him for what he is.

SuperDad9 · 08/07/2022 20:02

Hello. My ex partner left on day with our child who’s 2 whilst I was at work. Not allowing contact at all. I have applied for a order but does anyone have any experience of what to expect. Heartbreaking not seeing him and denied contact for no reason

Redburnett · 10/07/2022 10:00

He should have applied to the court to reopen the cases if it was not him driving and he didn't get the letters, but there is a time limit for doing this. It is illegal to take the points for someone else, it sounds as though he has been very stupid to get himself into this position. He needs to get legal advice.

clpsmum · 10/07/2022 10:06

Moodycow78 · 11/06/2022 17:54

I'm fairly certain your FP is not being very truthful with you hon, his story just makes no sense xx

This^^

He's talking crap and is a crap father to boot by the sound of it. Get out while you can

IncompleteSenten · 10/07/2022 10:08

So much about this makes no sense.

Literally all he had to do about the speeding was to say it was not him. They would have looked at the photos.
Instead of doing that, he took a ban and lost his job?

He can go to court to get access. If he can't afford help, he can do it himself.

He can easily prove he doesn't take drugs. There are tests.

Unless of course he does take drugs.

He's not helpless in this. There is a lot he can do and a lot of places he can get advice and information.

AndSoFinally · 10/07/2022 14:30

I can (sort of) believe it.

My partner left his car to his ex as part of their break up distribution of assess and like a complete nob didn't "get around" to changing the registered keeper and took ages to change his address with the DVLA.

By the time he got around to changing the address, she'd racked up quite a lot of parking fines which suddenly landed on his door mat as final summonses.

He looked into contesting it, but the fine for not changing your address in a timely manner and not changing the registered keeper details was much higher than the cost of paying the parking tickets, so he just paid.

I think if it was a case of him actually losing his license (and therefore his job) over it like in this case, he would have contested.

Expensive and annoying lesson.

BetterFuture1985 · 15/07/2022 13:18

Brewer1977 · 11/06/2022 16:49

My partner, has constantly had problems gaining access to his kids, if he makes any attempt too when his ex does not want him too, She tells the children the most awful lies about him.
He is afraid to go up against her because if he does the fallout towards the children is horrible. He pays for his children , but she constantly asks him for more money and if he can’t ( as in he has nothing left) she will tell the kids they have to stop their clubs and activities because “Daddy is a druggy and out with slags”
about 6 weeks ago he had a breakdown after he was stopped by the police for speeding. He then found that she had gained so many points for speeding and because the car is still in his name and registered at his old address because he left the car for her.
she did not forward to him any of the court letters ( he would of paid the fines and taken the wrap) he was banned, he needs to drive for his job so he lost his job. Which meant no money which meant he was not allowed to see the kids.
because of the breakdown and her telling the kids he is a piece of sh*t he hasn’t contacted them he was just broken.
he has started talking about reaching out, he is very fragile. They’ll be major fallout at first she will be vile, however if anyone has any advice on how he should reach out ?

Sounds like she's not fit to be a parent. He should be seeking sole custody. He should also make sure she takes the wrap for all her speeding fines. Check the times of each one and find some when he can prove he was elsewhere.

Feef83 · 23/11/2022 10:13

How long have you been with your partner OP?

Crimeismymiddlename · 23/11/2022 10:53

OP, he is ether lying to you or he is such a useless sad sack he would rather lose his children, licence and job due to the ‘evil horrible ex’ while n it doing anything at all to help himself. How can you stand it-you seem proud that he pays for his children, he can’t now.
I can only assume that he lives off you in your home as the evil ex stole him.
You need to start asking questions because both of the options, he has lied to you all this time or is a weak spineless man are not great.

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