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Advice on finding a partner

4 replies

Wartorious · 01/06/2022 12:33

Hello, I'm David. I'm 34 years old and based in the southeast of England. I've had quite a few short term relationships in the past but I have been finding it really difficult to meet anyone lately and wondered what you all thought. Do you think online dating sites are any good - if so which, or would you recommend another approach?I'm looking to make more friends and maybe find someone special with the potential to start a family. I would love to have a partner and kids and to settle down somewhere and build a life together. I'm not always the most confident person, I'm slightly overweight but also tall and quite strong. I'm a very open and creative person, I love reading and spending time outdoors. I've worked in IT and marketing and love walking my dogs, gaming, writing and creating art. I'd love a partner who was kind and loving - who was open-minded and curious about the world. any thoughts or advice? David

Advice on finding a partner
OP posts:

Delectable · 22/07/2022 23:13

Hi David,
I think you can try OLD but take things slow. Build friendships and see how things go. Join interest groups; cycling, tennis, walks, painting etc. Also try to deepen friendships with your networks as that way you'll have more opportunities to meet people.

You sound lovely and will make a good woman happy. All the best.


Bard6817 · 23/11/2022 12:32

Dating sites rubbish.

Gaming is not going to help.

Gym time will give you a bit more confidence and possibly help.

Socialising widely will assist. Socialising as part of wider interests will allow you to meet more people.

Don’t feel sorry for yourself, it’s an easy habit and the worst thing you can do.

Don’t rush it.

Dont fall into the trap of either putting women on pedastels or thinking they are scum. They are just people like you and me, with dreams and ambitions, and many just want to find a compatible partner who has similar values, dreams and aspirations.

Whrn you go out, you’ll need to start to speak to people outside your own social group. A friend once described it as a numbers game, and he wasn’t wrong, but don’t treat it like that. When you start to feel good about yourself, have an enjoyable life and not be desperate for company, and finally able to go up to a pair of girls and make them smile, just enjoy that. You’ll know if they want to do anything more than smile. When you encounter the many who are just worn out by the number of guys who approach them, don’t take it personally, don’t react badly, you just haven’t met their requirements that night and because many guys can’t take a subtle ‘no’ they are being blunt.

Don’t get sucked into the Andrew Tates of the world who talk about body counts etc. Whether or not it’s true or not doesn’t matter, only what matters if you getting out, having fun and meeting new people.

I won’t deny it’s hard. I was an ugly duckling, focussed in IT when it wasn’t cool, and had to struggle just sitting on the sidelines when my cool friends could charm the thongs off with barely a wink. Work on yourself, improve yourself, be a good person. It will come.


Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrr · 23/11/2022 12:57

Hi David, only use OLD as one way of meeting women, not the only way.
As mentioned above, join groups which interest you first and foremost, then you'll meet like-minded people.


andymary · 23/11/2022 13:59

Hi David,

How about looking for some casual groups or activities going on in your area that you could attend, that match your interests?

Such as, have a look at your local parks and see if there are any that do dog and owner meet-ups. At some parks, the community host groups for dog lovers to meet up, where their dog's can socialise with each other, and of course also their owners.

And then for gaming, maybe look at LARP groups in your area? Might sound like a big thing if you have social anxiety, but should be easier knowing that the other people there will have a similar mind set and likes etc. Even if you only attend like a yearly festival/event to start with so you can have a walk around, chat with some people, with no commitment of taking part in the actual LARP aspect until/if you feel comfortable with it.

Failing that, there's more female players in WoW (Classic) than you probably think 😜Just need to join a nice guild lol.

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