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Another of those "differences between the sexes" things

22 replies

UnquietDad · 11/01/2008 21:49

It's not difficult to make a woman happy. A man only needs to be:

  1. a friend

2. a companion
3. a lover
4. a brother
5. a father
6. a master
7. a chef
8. an electrician
9. a carpenter
10. a plumber
11. a mechanic
12. a decorator
13. a stylist
14. a sexologist
15. a gynaecologist
16. a psychologist
17. a pest exterminator
18. a psychiatrist
19. a healer
20. a good listener
21. an organizer
22. a good father
23. very clean
24. sympathetic
25. athletic
26. warm
27. attentive
28. gallant
29. intelligent
30. funny
31. creative
32. tender
33. strong
34. understanding
35. tolerant
36. prudent
37. ambitious
38. capable
39. courageous
40. determined
41. true
42. dependable
43. passionate
44. compassionate


45. give her compliments regularly
46. love shopping
47. be honest
48. be very rich
49. not stress her out
50. not look at other girls


51. give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself
52. give her lots of time, especially time for herself
53. give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes


54. Never to forget:
* birthdays
* anniversaries
* arrangements she makes


  1. Show up naked

2. Bring Beer
OP posts:
cazboldy · 11/01/2008 21:49

and food?

LadyOfTheCauliFlowers · 11/01/2008 21:50

I must be a man then really....

Pruners · 11/01/2008 21:50

Message withdrawn

Pruners · 11/01/2008 21:50

Message withdrawn

Walnutshell · 11/01/2008 21:52

I know, and men complain about women being too demanding - pah!

Tigerschick · 11/01/2008 21:55
UnquietDad · 11/01/2008 21:57

I did?

Is it lots of drooling over John B and that bloke out of Buffy?

Or was it all about Sue and her Slash of Rassilon again?

OP posts:
Pruners · 11/01/2008 21:59

Message withdrawn

UnquietDad · 11/01/2008 22:00

How did I know?

OP posts:
Pruners · 11/01/2008 22:01

Message withdrawn

UnquietDad · 11/01/2008 22:02

I still can't get used to people lusting after the Doctor. It was always the assistants (male and female) people were supposed to fancy. I was watching Attack of the Cybermen on YouChoob last night. Crap story, but by GOD Peri has fine tits. You can't take your eyes off them.

OP posts:
Janni · 11/01/2008 22:19

UnquietDad - to make this woman happy a man needs only to avoid leaving a trail behind himself when he leaves for work in the morning.

Said trail would comprise: 1() his little calling card: dirty pants and socks on the bedroom floor 2) unmade bed (despite being the last person in the household to rise) 3) socks and dressing gown, wet towels from the shower, plasic wrapping from drycleaned shirt, breakfast dishes, myriad pieces of paper from his pockets... all left waiting, expectantly, for the woman in his life to return from the school drop-off and lead them to their rightful home...

chrissnow · 11/01/2008 22:29

mmmm not sure that's true UnquietDad. IME it takes slightly more to keep a man happy/
You need to be:-
1 attractive (but not vain)
2 fantastic in bed (but not a slag)
3 a brilliant mother (but never mumsy)
4 a great cook
5 an economical shopper
6 a good listener
7 with no real opinions to the above
8 mute during any kind of sport or speed cops/traffic cops/british cops speed traffic cops cops programme (until the interval when you must assertain how did your day go? Do you need more beer? fancy a quickie? want a bacon buttie to go with beer?)
9 agree on every bad comment you make about any friends or family whilst also remaining loyal to them and never actually slagging them off
10 impressed by any feat of DIY (even if that only consists of getting drill bit into drill)
1 drive better than said male
2 ask for directions in male company (and at the same time never say 'but we're going to be late if we don't find out where we are going'
3 use male grooming products i'e razor (the only acceptable alternative is to pluck out ones leg hair one by one - do not consider letting it grow!!)
1 be in the mood . . .
2 smell nice
3 be in the mood
4 have some beer in fridge
5 be in the mood

EricL · 12/01/2008 01:21

Mmmmm...... beer and the female form.

Two of my favouritist things.

Even better together...............

Walnutshell · 12/01/2008 12:59

chrissnow -

good point!

Pruners · 12/01/2008 18:18

Message withdrawn

UnquietDad · 12/01/2008 22:48

I didn't say I didn't get it, just that I can't get used to it!

Tegan in her leather mini from "Frontios"... now you're talking....

OP posts:
DavidTennantsMistress · 12/01/2008 22:52

LMAO that's sooooo true. so where do you find a man like that then?

Pruners · 13/01/2008 15:24

Message withdrawn

Desiderata · 13/01/2008 15:26

I must be a bloke in reality. Turning up naked with beer is just about all I require from a relationship. Anything else is just so draining ..

Kevlarhead · 16/01/2008 00:39

Oh bloody hell... where was that 'steamy' Dr Who thread? I think Mrs Kevlarhead could do with an outlet (saves me hearing about it...)

discoverlife · 16/01/2008 00:45

Sorry but I thought he was talking about me. That list is what women are to men all day every day. I have never called an electrician in my life, I have re-wired 3 houses ,myself. I am a chef etc. etc. etc. I am a damd good plumber but I call in the experts when it comes to boiler serviceing. I am a whizz at plastering, So what is he going on about?????????????????

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