Another of those "differences between the sexes" things

[UnquietDad]

It's not difficult to make a woman happy. A man only needs to be:

1. a friend
2. a companion
3. a lover
4. a brother
5. a father
6. a master
7. a chef
8. an electrician
9. a carpenter

10. a plumber 11. a mechanic 12. a decorator 13. a stylist 14. a sexologist 15. a gynaecologist 16. a psychologist 17. a pest exterminator 18. a psychiatrist 19. a healer 20. a good listener 21. an organizer 22. a good father 23. very clean 24. sympathetic 25. athletic 26. warm 27. attentive 28. gallant 29. intelligent 30. funny 31. creative 32. tender 33. strong 34. understanding 35. tolerant 36. prudent 37. ambitious 38. capable 39. courageous 40. determined 41. true 42. dependable 43. passionate 44. compassionate

WITHOUT FORGETTING TO:

45. give her compliments regularly
46. love shopping
47. be honest
48. be very rich
49. not stress her out
50. not look at other girls

AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO:

51. give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself
52. give her lots of time, especially time for herself
53. give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes

IT IS VERY IMPORTANT:

54. Never to forget:

• birthdays
• anniversaries
• arrangements she makes

HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY

1. Show up naked

1. Bring Beer

and food?

I must be a man then really....

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I know, and men complain about women being too demanding - pah!

I did?

Is it lots of drooling over John B and that bloke out of Buffy?

Or was it all about Sue and her Slash of Rassilon again?

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How did I know?

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I still can't get used to people lusting after the Doctor. It was always the assistants (male and female) people were supposed to fancy. I was watching Attack of the Cybermen on YouChoob last night. Crap story, but by GOD Peri has fine tits. You can't take your eyes off them.

UnquietDad - to make this woman happy a man needs only to avoid leaving a trail behind himself when he leaves for work in the morning.

Said trail would comprise: 1() his little calling card: dirty pants and socks on the bedroom floor 2) unmade bed (despite being the last person in the household to rise) 3) socks and dressing gown, wet towels from the shower, plasic wrapping from drycleaned shirt, breakfast dishes, myriad pieces of paper from his pockets... all left waiting, expectantly, for the woman in his life to return from the school drop-off and lead them to their rightful home...

mmmm not sure that's true UnquietDad. IME it takes slightly more to keep a man happy/
You need to be:-
1 attractive (but not vain)
2 fantastic in bed (but not a slag)
3 a brilliant mother (but never mumsy)
4 a great cook
5 an economical shopper
6 a good listener
7 with no real opinions to the above
8 mute during any kind of sport or speed cops/traffic cops/british cops speed traffic cops cops programme (until the interval when you must assertain how did your day go? Do you need more beer? fancy a quickie? want a bacon buttie to go with beer?)
9 agree on every bad comment you make about any friends or family whilst also remaining loyal to them and never actually slagging them off
10 impressed by any feat of DIY (even if that only consists of getting drill bit into drill)
YOU MUST NEVER
1 drive better than said male
2 ask for directions in male company (and at the same time never say 'but we're going to be late if we don't find out where we are going'
3 use male grooming products i'e razor (the only acceptable alternative is to pluck out ones leg hair one by one - do not consider letting it grow!!)
YOU MUST ALWAYS
1 be in the mood . . .
2 smell nice
3 be in the mood
4 have some beer in fridge
5 be in the mood

Mmmmm...... beer and the female form.

Two of my favouritist things.

Even better together...............

chrissnow -

good point!

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I didn't say I didn't get it, just that I can't get used to it!

Tegan in her leather mini from "Frontios"... now you're talking....

LMAO that's sooooo true. so where do you find a man like that then?

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I must be a bloke in reality. Turning up naked with beer is just about all I require from a relationship. Anything else is just so draining ..

Oh bloody hell... where was that 'steamy' Dr Who thread? I think Mrs Kevlarhead could do with an outlet (saves me hearing about it...)

Sorry but I thought he was talking about me. That list is what women are to men all day every day. I have never called an electrician in my life, I have re-wired 3 houses ,myself. I am a chef etc. etc. etc. I am a damd good plumber but I call in the experts when it comes to boiler serviceing. I am a whizz at plastering, So what is he going on about?????????????????