Co-Parenting App

[AnonymousDaddy]

Hello,

I was wondering if anyone had any advice as to which co-parenting app to use? I have tried setting up calendars using FamilyTree and other methods to note down birthday parties and events at school etc but we have now got to a point where we are not communicating unless for the kids. Without going into detail, I am unable to communicate effectively via WhatsApp or Text messages and I would like to have our communication logged and only through one app. The main issue is video calling the little ones before bed when I do not have them. I have asked the eldest (4) if she still wants Daddy to call before bed when she's not with me and she has said yes, and for me, it is something I really don't want to give up unless I have to, so I would like to ability to video call through the app too, if possible.

One I have found is OurFamilyWizard which looks promising, however, I would have to pay for both myself and Mummy (no need for me to explain) and it's a difficult decision to cough up £200 for the use of the app when I am unable to try out any of the features beforehand. Ideally, I trial version would be good or something that is charged monthly.

I have looked over and over through google but cannot confirm the video calling on some of them, so if anyone can advise, please do let me know.

Thanks in advance :)

It won't be free but have you looked at Microsoft Teams?
It's more for office work, but offers video calling, instant messaging and calendars.

If all you are trying to do is have calls, then is there a problem with creating something like a whatsapp group? Is there a reason you can't use whatsapp/telegram etc?

Even something simple like Google Meet will allow you to do this effectively. As someone who works in tech this 100% interested me, and as someone who has 2 children who don't live with me - this is something I would love to solve too!

Thanks for your message. I have looked at these options but I think one of the key things (reasons for using a co-parenting app) is that all conversations are logged between parents and if needed (hopefully not) then a solicitor can be granted access and then easily access all conversations. I don't think it is required yet, but it is likely solicitors will have to get involved in the near future and by using a coparenting app, all conversations are logged (nothing can be hidden or lied about), all calendar entries are put in (no excuses that either of is 'didn't know') and any money sent over or spent is logged.

For me though, I really do not wan't to stop being able to say good night to the kids, we have been seperated near on 7 months and I still say night to them every night either when they are with me or on video call. I have asked them if they want me to keep calling or not and the eldest has said yes, she likes it. I know eventually it will have to stop, I do get that, but right now, i'm really not ready and I'm not sure how best to keep everything in one place (messages, calendars and video calls) while also having it logged and stored within an approved app.

Do correct me though if you feel Google Meet still meets the above!

Thanks again for your time and I hope your two are well :)

Ahh that makes sense! Full accountability for co-parenting over just a way to do all of the above. The biggest downside with most messaging apps is that messages are able to be deleted, meaning that context can be changed at the push of a button - not great when you might need it for future use.

From a spending perspective, I am not sure how best to do that, but I would use something like monzo/starling bank and transfer to that card, so all money spent is easy to see and account for (it is how I do my personal spending).

My two are great, they are with their mums and are happy. I decided a long time ago that I would love my kids more than I hate my ex and just get on for the kids sake tbh. It was hard to start with, but it had its benefits for the kids

Yes, I agree. This is one of the biggest issues, as well as that, a phone call can't be recorded and alot can be said on a phone call and there is no way to prove it. I guess this is why video calls are not a big thing with these apps, I imagine they couldn't justify storing every video call otherwise the storage needed would cost a fortune.

Monzo is a great idea, it can be used only for the moneys transferred for that reason instead of mixed between accounts and cash. I do use Monzo for personal spending too but having a totally seperate one for that isn't a bad idea.

I'm glad to hear that, it's a nice view of what it could possibly be like in the future. Unfortunately for me, I struggle to see it but do really wan't it. I do not hate her and will happily be amicable for the kids sake, however, it seems like it's one rule for her and another for me. i.e. Mummy "Can you pick them up at 6pm tonight instead of 5pm" Daddy "Ok, sure" - then one week later Daddy "Can I have them at 4pm today please so I can treat them to a Pizza hut" Mummy "No, it's my time with them". If I dare say no, then she barely answers to the phone when I ring the kids to say night, does stuff to hurt me etc (I missed my little boys first day at reception as she booked him in and didn't tell me the day until other parents asked me why I wasn't there and told me he went in really well). These are just small examples to justify the reasons for the app, I feel I need to log it all so that if things do go sour then atleast I can show I have always been flexible, amicable and reasonable but for now it's difficult to manage and log it all.

I can totally understand how that can feel, my ex did that a lot too. It's a shame that as parents we are sometimes held hostage with our children!

I think screenshotting call logs and text/WhatsApp conversations might help you in the short term.

Hi All,

I just wanted to thank you all for your advice. It seems we have now moved on to mediation and I am going the propose Our Family Wizard as the app of choice. It does come at a cost, but it covers everything and I think for the sake of ensuring everything is logged and kept on top of, it will be worth it and it still enables me to communicate with the kids before bedtime.

Thanks again!