New member helllppppp

[Bigsosijez]

Hi all, so current situation is living with partner and 3 kids in house owned by just me. The mrs is a bit of a psycho and as such our relationship has deteriorated over the past couple of years. She likes to put me down at every interval and speaks of me in a bad light to the kids when shes in one of her regular moods. Problem is even though we live in the same house i have restricted access to my kids. shes always barking orders at me, if i pick em up shell tell me to put em down, doesnt let me near the kids, wont let me do anything for them, wont let me take them out of the house without her, wont let me comfort them when they are crying. She often throws things at me, gets in moods and takes the kids out on her own on a weekend when this is the main time i have with them when not working. Threatens me regularly saying shes moving out and ill not be able to see them again. Im just at a bit of a loss here as to what i can do. She doesnt listen to a word i say, i dont like many of her parenting methods, she shouts at the kids alot. Always belittling me. What can i actually do. I cant throw her out because she has nowhere to go. I feel terrorised in my own home. Im not physically scared of her but emotionally she is ruling my life...........

If you have genuine concern about the affect her parenting has on your children then maybe applying for sole custody is the way to go?

I don’t see how you can continue living in the same house though whatever you decide to do. Not only is it damaging for your MH but your children really shouldn’t be watching it all, they shouldn’t be seeing their other parent having things thrown at them by mum. You need to tell her to find her own place if it’s your house, although I imagine she will want to take the children.

Start keeping a diary of her actions with dates, times, what was said, thrown etc and keep it in a safe place where she can’t find it and destroy it. It sounds really tough. Please talk to someone about what you are going through and make positive plans to be apart. It took my poor brother 14 years to leave his abusive wife and he is now a shell of the man he was.

mensadviceline.org.uk/

It’s sounds a very toxic household which isn’t good for the Dc or either of the adults. You need to separate.
Make an appointment with Citizens Advice, ask for a someone to advice you on what you can do and talk throgh your options.

She sounds like a keeper.n Start a contemporaneous note book listing every time these things happen, dates, times, exactly what happened what she did and said and who was there witnessing it. Dont over egg the pudding, just the true details. If nothing else it will show you the bigger picture as sometimes you need to stand back to appreciate just how bad it is. Perhaps keep the book at work so she cant come across it.