Attraction after children

[AnxiousAndInsecure101]

Hi,

I feel out of place being on here as I don't have children but I really could use some genuine advice.
Please understand, this post is not meant to cause any offence and I really do apologise if anyone if offended by it.

I have be with my boyfriend for 4 years and I am 30 years old. He is 35. Over the last year my boyfriend had brought up the topic of children more than once.

Having a settled, stable relationship is all I've ever wanted as I grew up in a single parent household and carry many scars from my parents divorce when I was 6.
(I have a massive fear of abandonment and have been receiving counselling for the past year to try and help me work through this)

Whilst I would love to have children and have always dreamt of being a Mum, the fear that it will change my body to the point where my boyfriend will no longer find me attractive terrifies me.

I know I sound like a stupid paranoid 15 year old but this is something that has genuinely worried me all my adult life (and its exhausting!).

I understand it is a sensitive subject but are there any mums who have gained stretch marks or saggy skin as a result of pregnancy? If you have would you mind sharing the impact this had on your romantic relationship?

This is a male perspective but none of us are perfect and as we grow older, our bodies change regardless of whether we are male or female and therefore regardless of pregnancy. I'm sure that every woman has a different post natal experience but if you love someone and you are attracted to them then pregnancy should make no difference. You have been very open about your past and it sounds to me like your concern about the affect of pregnancy on your body might be just a symptom of what you went through as a child and hopefully the counselling you are receiving should help you address feelings like this.

This particular forum within Mumsnet is more aimed at Dads so you might get a better response from a female perspective on one of the other forums (avoid AIBU as it's not a place for sensitive discussion).

Hope all goes well for you.

If you actually want female perspectives I would have this moved off Dadsnet.