First child and at breaking point

[ullisees]

Hi all

I had my first child in February and I'm already at breaking point. She screams constantly past 6pm and dr says its acid reflux.

For the past 2 week I've been leaving the house earlier to go to work and crying in the car. And don't want to leave work at night and cry on the way home.

I don't know how much more i can take

It’s bloody tough.

Is she having any medication for acid reflux?

Talk to your GP about post natal depression.
It can happen to the partner as well as those who have given birth.
Seek counseling.
Put head of baby’s cot up on bricks to reduce reflux.
Look at other ways of reducing reflux.
It gets better once baby can sit up.
Good luck

Push for medication for the reflux and rule out cow s milk allergy
Good luck x

I’m so sorry, it’s incredibly rough with a little baby.

Have they put in a plan in place and given medicine? If they have given gaviscon I would dose during the day too so it’s built up ready for witching evening (it’s never been an hour whoever named it that)

If it’s not working within a week go back and speak to your HV. They might recommend weaning early or allergies etc

For yourself it might be worth reaching out to a support group or having some counselling. It might not just be the screaming, do you need a bit more support?

Practical things first: you can get infant gaviscon over the counter but GP can also prescribe something stronger - call them today. Don't get fobbed off with dissolvable omeprazole, there is a liquid suspension and it's so much easier to administer.

Good suggestions for counselling or a chat with your GP about how you're feeling as partners can def get PND too - it will be affecting your whole little family so do it for them if not yourself.

Everyone finds the early days and weeks hard. For better or worse the baby is here now and you're on this path. Billions of humans over the millennia have done it, you can too 💚

They have given her omreperozole which is in tablets so have to crush them and mix with water and syringe into mouth. She screams even louder at that happening

Poor little thing, and poor you and your partner.

Is your daughter happier in the daytime? It can be worse if you are only seeing the miserable evening hours and missing the happier daytime bits.

How are nights?

How is your partner?

My son had terrible acid reflux as a baby so I really sympathize with you. We, like you, had months of him crying for hours and hours every evening, and in many ways my relationship never recovered from the strain, as my partner did not take well to it.

I will say the first three months are for me the hardest, and that you're going through the worst right now. It won't be like this forever, although I am sure it feels like a neverending nightmare for you right now.

What worked for us eventually was lansoprazole. We were lucky enough to have an understanding GP who was willing to try new things when previous things did not work. It was trial and error for us - we did baby gaviscon, different formulas, thickeners and omeprazole before lansoprazole finally did the trick. The problem as you know is that anything takes about 10 days to work (or not) so it's a waiting game each time. Hang in there, don't be scared to push the GP for more tests / medicines and try your best to support your OH who I am sure is also struggling hugely.

You'll look back on these days one day and wonder how you got through it, but you will.

Try to feed propped up as much as possible (so realistically an angle) could try a wedge mattress. Definitely look into dairy allergy as well. I cried through the first year too, it’s hard but it’s not forever, it will get better. Push for medication and consider anti-depressants yourself.

How is your partner holding up?

Hi, I had a horrific time with my DS and reflux. I know it pushed me and my partner very hard so this is normal.
Omeprozole is great! Wonder drug and it changed our life but it takes atleast three weeks to work and that's if they get the dose bang on straight away (they never do).

However, you can get an oral solution that's premade at correct dose (it's expensive so they try tablets first) tell your GP it's not working and she's not tolerating it and see if you can get the solution. Also Try a dose change, my son was under a paediatrician as it was VVV severe and in the end he was on 20mg which is a v high dose but he really needed it or he couldn't feed and was dehydrated.

DS is now 18 months, he's off medication and now has no reflux issues.

It's enormously unrelenting and difficult and it feels never ending but it gets better.

DS is anaphylactic for milk, & Eggs - ask for skin testing.

I can’t advise re the reflux but you need to keep in mind that it WILL pass. In a few months it won’t be like this. The bigger they get, the more delightful they get. Hang in there.

Just to say that there may be other avenues to explore here. GP’s declare pretty much every difficult baby has reflux x

I would look at the daily routine and see how much sleep baby is getting in naps and how long they are awake for before napping.

At 10-13 weeks we had two babies that were like this every evening. Screaming from 6-12...
When I would cry, my poor husband would beg me not to set him off too and we never even had time to hug and comfort each other 😬🥴

They were chronically overtired because we didn’t know about age appropriate wake windows or how many naps were needed. When they hit 11 weeks they stopped just falling asleep after the first morning feed till about 12:30. I thought they must just not need that nap anymore.

The reality was that they had become much more alert and aware of the world so they needed more help than ever to go to sleep at the right times.

Once I knew that and developed a routine around them the problem went away within a week!

Just an idea x

I really do feel for you but this isn't something you can opt out of. How is your partner coping in all of this? Do you have any help?

I agree with everything everyone above has said, firstly, do book yourself in to see your GP and tell them how you are feeling. There is absolutely no shame in how you feel. Secondly, with reflux unfortunately it is trial and error.

Ds1 had mild reflux and just sicked up a lot, we bought a carpet cleaner. Ds2 was horrifically ill with it. We were very lucky that after trying Gaviscon and thickened formula our GP referred us to a paediatrician who went down a formula that thickened on contact with stomach acid rather than a thicker formula. This made a world of difference to all of us.

Like others though, Ds2 had a propped cot, slept upright on me during the day (long term SAHM) and I used to do the school run with Ds2 in a sling so again, upright. Even nappy changes were done propped up, no lying him down for a long time.

You are right to feel cheated of the joy that is meant to come from having a baby and being a Dad. I imagine this was not what you expected at all. Dh struggled massively, he hated seeing his sons in pain and it was torture to him. But it does pass, it gets better, they get happier and well. My sons are now 18 and 15 and are incredibly close to Dh even with me being a SAHM.

Thanks everyone. She is currently only on 5mg of omeperozole and been on it a week. She's on cow and gate but tried kendamil which she was drinking better but was being sick after 10 min.

My partner is crying a lot thinking she's doing something wrong but she doesn't tell me any of that she just puts on a brave face.

At night time we can normally get her to sleep around 9.30 but she wriggles around a lot and kicks her legs so she wakes herself up every few hours. She's only slept through once.

Acid reflux is REALLY tough on baby and parents- you and your partner have my every sympathy!!

In terms of the baby what worked, and continued to work for DC2 (6 months) is liquid omeprezol, we also had the tablets initially and they did not really work, it was distressing for everyone to try and give them to her and between spitting it out we never knew how much she was actually getting- the liquid form has been a massive game changer!

It probably seems like it will never end right now but it does, you are right in the thick of it at the moment but eventually you will find what works for your baby and life will be so much better!

Agree with previous poster re speaking to your GP, explain the mental toll this is taking on you and your partner and best of luck!

My little one was on omeprazole too! I could wait to get her off it as the syringe was the worst thing will all those bits at the end!! It did work keeping milk down although I took her off it a bit earlier than the Dr suggested and she was fine.

Mine is 1 year old now, I found the 3 month stage was the hardest bit, and felt all she did was cry when she was awake.

It will get easier as she gets a bit older and sitting up, interacting with toys etc and finding her way. It seems bleak now but I promise you it gets much more rewarding. You can get through this :)

A three-month old won’t sleep through the night so I think you need to manage your expectations a little bit! It’s worth telling yourself that it’s tough but many of us have been there and lived to tell the tale, and you will too. Your poor partner sounds like she is struggling - please support her as best you can. You get to have a break at work but she has to deal with the issue all day long so she must be overwhelmed at the moment.

💚💚💚

Call the GP insist you can't get the required dose of omeprazole in using the dispersible tablets and you need the liquid suspension. Your baby is in pain and they need you to speak up for them.

My friend who is a GP gave us this advice when we were in the same boat as you and it worked. Fingers crossed for you. x

I had this 🤪 it lasted 6 months approximately and it's exhausting. I no amount of switching milk makes a difference it's just there tummy adapting to the world. Things I found helped are bouncing to baby shark 🦈, colief, medication for lo from the doctors , colic hold (YouTube video) , patience, coffee, even a drive with baby to a coffee drive through, she hated the pram, take any help from family you can, reduce all expectations of how much you can do for atleast 6 months, it's gets better. And at 6 months we were throughly exhausted and the best thing we did was sleep training and in her own bedroom as we were all waking each other up through the night. Good luck and it dies pass xx

Does pass even x

With the wriggling, have you tried swaddling? Some babies love it, and stops the whole waking themselves up thing.
www.nct.org.uk/baby-toddler/slings-and-swaddling/swaddling-baby-benefits-risks-and-seven-safety-tips

We used to swaddle her when she was first born but now put her in a grow bag as she kept wriggling out of the blanket

I think she hates me. Got home and she was happy. I've got hold of her and she won't stop crying. Give her back to mum and she's quiet. Every time i hold her she crys