Agree. When someone suddenly changes and gets angry it is often when they are seeing someone else. Explains the hot and cold as well if she felt insecure about the other relationship at times. It can leave you feeling bewildered, shocked and grieving without understanding of what happened. It can really help when you know the truth as it helps understand it is nothing you have done but that your gf transferred her affections elsewhere. Infidelity is the pits. They lying is the worst bit. The anger is usually guilt - justifying lying - and stress (difficult having a double life).
Right now you need to be kind to yourself. Don’t close the door on it completely but accept you may or may not get back together. As you don’t know you need to ensure your relationship with your children continues. You are now separated whether that is permanent or not. Where are you living? Can you have them staying with you?
Many Dads are recommended to get a Child Arrangements order in place before moving out - because it can be harder to see the kids once you’ve left.
First step is mediation. Text or email your gf and say you want to agree arrangements for the children now you are separated. And would like to have mediation to draw up a parenting plan (this can include when the kids are with each parent, birthday and holiday arrangements, who pays for what etc). It isn’t legally enforceable but if there are problems in future it can be helpful when getting a court order as it shows what was agreed.
If your gf doesn’t agree to mediation then ask to be signed off from mediation (you have the first appointment on your own anyway). This sign off is what you need to be able to apply to court.
There is no reason why you can’t ask for a 50/50 shared care order so the children live with both of you with a stable schedule. If you can do that and manage it with work. You can have family members assist with school pick ups etc if your working hours don’t tally and there are after school clubs.
A common 50/50 pattern is two consecutive nights in each home and every other week end from Friday to Monday morning. This is a 2-2-5-5 schedule. One week they are with you mom tues night, then they come Friday for the weekend through to Monday plus the Monday Tuesday tacked on next week. So it is 2 nights, then 2 at gf house, then 5 with you (Friday to wed an). Then 5 with her (wed through to Monday am) then back to 2 each again that week.
With changeovers to and from school for seamless transitions between homes. Plus half the school holidays each.
What used to be “residency “ is now “lives with “ snd what used to be “contact” is now “spends time with”.
Shared care/lives with both parents is what used to be joint or shared residency.
At the moment you are equal - no court orders snd neither has residency. You can arrange things informally but if you find you’re not spending enough time with the kids and there‘a no agreement or parenting plan you could apply for the Child Arrangements to be ordered.
A standard order would be “spends time with” every other weekend and a midweek overnight - plus half the holidays.
The 2-2-5-5 is better for continuing to be a full on parent with significant time with both parents.