10 year old expressed wanting to live with myself

[Dadofgirls90]

I have just spent my first year as a father with my daughter's without their mother, last year they went to her new partners house and didn't get to see me till days later, whilst my daughter has expressed concerns and told me she may want to move in with me in the past normally she adds to it that she doesn't want to leave her friends and she was happy that she got to see me all the time (2-7 days a week) her mother moved them away to go and live with her new partner early on this year and since then my daughter has told me in what seemed to be a joking way that she says yes when her mother uses the "do you wanna go and live with your dad threat" her new partner also uses it a lot (I'm not massively keen on him) he just seems like a bit of a control freak, I have expressed to my children's mother that it's her choice if she wants to be with him but I'm not keen on his attitude and I will step in only of it affects my kids. So not long after my daughters were moved a good 50+ miles away from where they had lived together with us as a family, the new partners son moved in, my youngest (6) was then forced out of the shared room with her sister and made to share a room with their mum and her new boyfriend, my eldest the 10 year old was made to share a room with the 19 year old son first of all till he was sent to move back on with his mum, now his 14 year old son has moved on and it's the same situation again.

My 10 year old has now confidently expressed to myself and other family members that she is massively considering wanting to live with me, her biggest concern was one friend that she wanted to keep on contact with and a new out of school club she has joined, I told her that in my eyes it was her decision. She is very mature for her age in relation to her beliefs and such and always has been compared to most kids of her age.
I decided that given the kids have only just gone back to their mother's house and being that it was their Christmas day with their mother I would leave any talks till after all festivities and allow her to think on it, she mentioned something to her mum and she jumped the gun and started messaging Me, I don't enjoy arguements in the slightest I would much rather have a civilized discussion with the other parent rather than tare each other apart, her on the other hands loves nothing more than a heat filled arguement (one of the reasons I left) I ignored her initial messages first thing and thought maybe she would stop and leave it so she could spend time with our children, she didn't let up and started trying to make digs, so I replied in what I would call a calm and maybe slightly sarcastic tone at first but then tried to talk her into leaving the talks so she could prioritise spending the day being happy and festive, but she wouldn't let up and decided to hurl abuse at me talking about the momentary financial blip I had, one little thing that happened since I left home at 17, I am now 30 and haven't had any other financial issues that weren't sorted promptly, her on the other hand has no room to talk, she has been in debt since the age of 18 when she got her first loan and credit card and them began fleecing as much as she could out of catalogues and credit cards etc not just in her name but also on mine, which I have no evidential way of proving my lack of involvement so I have had to set up arrangements to clear £11k worth of debt she ran up whilst I was working hard to provide for put family (I knew about a few things which were another reason I left but not all as she hid my post). She has now despite several attempts from me to avoid arguing while she should be doing her best to have the best day for our daughters blocked me after sending a very rude message while also telling me I had no right when approached by my daughter to allow her the freedom to express herself and told me that I should of told her no it's not happening and she has to live with her mum. What I said was "it's your choice and only yours, you have to make that, your mum and myself will have to talk and work it out but I would love nothing more than having you live with me"

What advice do you all have for this? What can I do? What can I say? Should I have done anything different (apart from the initial sarcasm)...
Do I contact professionals, her family (who are all drunken idiots)
Social services (although I know that would probably cause more than rude responses)

Just any advice is warmly welcomed... Thanks in advance

Seek some legal advice.

10 is tricky as I think its maybe another couple of years before your daughter can express her view and move in with you (if she likes).

Also try separated dads for some practical advice. There's not many posters on here (well unless it's a Dad that the catty types can get their claws into).

If your dd is sharing a room with a teenage boy i'd be removing both your dds to live with you, at least until there is an alternative to the sleeping arrangements...is it not deemed inappropriate by authorities for boys and girls to share bedroom after certain age?

@CantBeAssed yes it is, but even more so where they aren't related as is the case with the household they're in right now, the 14 year old boy she is sharing a room with is their mum's boyfriends kid. I was trying to discuss this as amicable as possible as I don't like arguements as I mentioned... I'm not afraid of making my point but with it being Christmas I was willing and hoping to leave the talks with their mum till at least after today as this was supposed to be the Christmas with their mum as they were with my Christmas day. She just wouldn't let up, after several attempts of trying to reason with her to forget the conversation for now and spend time with the kids she got angry and rude ending the final message with her F-ing and Jeffing before blocking me on WhatsApp (first time she's gone as far as blocking me) not that she needed to as I mention the aim of any response I gave was to try and persuade her that she should be prioritising her time for the kids and not arguing with me

You shouldn't tell a 10 year old it's their choice which parent they live with because it's not. However if she's really unhappy and sharing a bedroom with a teenage boy I would advise you to seriously start discussions with the mother about her moving with you.

@Wibble01 I appreciate your answer, I wasn't sure on the age thing but after a bit of searching it seems that there is no minimum age set for children to make their voices heard in this way.
The issue I have is how I go about this in the best possible way for the kids, I wasn't really involved in discussions surround her moving away with them, I did mention at one point that I had no objection with her living with someone else as long as I was involved in the kids life and it was discussed with me in due time, she did tell me before she moved but I feel like it was not on a timely manner nor was I asked what I thought about it given that I was massively involved in my kids life both during and after the relationship with their mum, after we split I would have them mostly 2-3 days a week but on occasions up to a week at a time I'd have them during term time and then an equal split during the holidays. I am in a massive frustrating situation right now, just hoping someone can share a similar experience including the do's and don'ts to help me better prepare myself for what lies ahead

Im all for trying to sort things as amicably as possible but sometimes that isnt always possible..its something that both parties have to want. I would really be seriously concerned about the sleeping arrangements that are going amd would be questioning "mum" allowing this to happen. She is not in the position to accomodate her bf and his son to be living with her so should be asking him to move out and live separately...i would be addressing this issue first before getting into discussions of who your dd wants to live with. If the roles were reversed and you came on mumsnet as a mum saying her dd was sleeping in the same room as teenage boys at dads house posters would be in uproar...you really need to put a stop to this or remove your children until their mum can sort their sleeping arrangements...

The sleeping arrangements are completely unsuitable. How often are your girls having to share a room with teenaged boys or adult men? Or is it a permanent thing?

I think you made a bit of a mistake in how you handled the possibility of moving to yours with your DD, but it’s very hard when they blindsided you with these things.

I suppose in your situation I would be politely letting your ex know that the girls need their own room(s) and, based on the discussion that follows, perhaps letting her know that you will have the girls at yours as an (initially at least) temporary measure until either sleeping arrangements are sorted or some other arrangement is agreed.

OP. my situation has similarities in terms of the ex, not prepared to be amicable and coincidentally she got herself into an IVA. I nearly got dragged into it but was able to prove she took the loan out in my name.
There will be no reasoning based on what you've described.the first formal step would be mediation, have you done that?