court order

[dannyjames81]

Hi guys I am in a dilemma

me and my ex split 3 years ago we have a 5 year old son, I also have an 12 year old daughter from a previous relationship. when we split I got to see my son 3 nights a week and it was on the same time as my daughter this is what I wanted to keep there relationship going too. after about 6 months my ex started messing with days some days I would turn up shes not answering door sometimes it would be well I want this day now to replace another, if I argued she would then say either do that or don’t see him. sometimes this went on for months as I was fighting for my son and daughter to see eachother not only me.
I would eventually give on because I missed him so much. since then there has been more messing and changing of days her latest one is she wants whole weekends child free so she can go out. so Saturday to Tuesday am school drop off, my daughter I have Tuesday Thursday then alternate weekend day, she knows this and when I said its not ideal as I cannot have social life but I will if I can have DS a Tuesday or Thursday to match his sister. I was told no way its this or I don’t see him.

this is how its going along with abusive texts which ive reported twice to the police. I have now been told I cannot see him xmas eve or xmas day and this is on top of me asking every year to take him on a summer holiday and being told no.

the advice I need is if a court order would help? I know its financial outlay but I cant keep doing this its unfair on me and the kids

I have always paid CSA and never missed a payment. I have also never stopped even when she kept him.

would a judge see my point? I just want a pattern that allows him to see me but keep a relationship with his sister, I also want to see him either xmas eve or day and at least 1 week every summer.

my previous experience with csa showed me dads don’t have any power. but do you think me doing 1 session mediation then applying for court order is the way to go? will there be repercussions if she breaks it? she wont go to mediation I know this so 1 session would be all that’s needed.

thanks all for any advice

[Post edited by MNHQ to remove RL names]

First of all- @mnhq need to edit or delete this as you've posted your sons name which is identifying info.

It's not that you don't have any power, it's that you're not registered as the primary carer puts you on the back foot.

I do think your ex is being unfair and making things harder than they have to be for you. I don't think anything you are asking for is unfair either.

I think your heart is in the right place on this and that taking this to court would make your ex accountable for her actions.

Thanks sorry I only mentioned first name and it’s a very common name also my surname is not in my user name too. So you think a court order would make her accountable or could she just ignore this

Yes the court would order a consistent contact pattern even if it were over a 2 or 3 week cycle.

Yes get a court order, hopefully your ex will then abide by it and you won't have to return to court due to it being breached.

You need to attempt mediation first though I believe.

If a parent continually breaches and is taken back to court for it by you then they can ultimately end up with a prison term though I presume this is very rare!

Please get a court order, this definitely is massively unfair on yourself and your children. Yes she will be held accountable if she repeatedly breaches it, and the court absolutely would see your point of view providing you’re not leaving out massive backstories of abuse/addiction etc.