Advice

[Scooby3212]

Just after some advice really, been with my current partner for 4 years and we have a beautiful 1 year old son who is literally my best mate.

General overview, relationship was fantastic we never argued then for some bizarre reason since the birth of our little boy that has all then changed.

Neither of us are happy anymore to which my partner has made that very clear but she doesn’t seem to do anything about it.

My main issue stems from when she stopped wanting sex with me and stopped showing any form of affection towards me. I appreciate in a serious relationship these things become less, however if I was constantly saying I was tired, couldn’t be bothered and made no forms of affection I’d be getting accused of having an affair with another women.

My other issues are I get a hard time if my family see our little one more than her family, which is ridiculous as it should not be a competition. She really dislikes my family. There is loads of other examples but there is not enough time in a day to get them off my chest even though I think it would do me good as I have been struggling for a long time now.

I just don’t get the dislike she has towards my family..my family bought certain presents for the little one for his birthday then she went mental at me because I didn’t tell them not to buy them because we don’t have room apparently in the house but come on if family want to buy whatever they want then we should just be grateful. The list of abuse towards my family etc is endless.

Essentially, I don’t hate her, we’ve shared some great times and have a beautiful son who is the priority but I do feel we would both be better off moving on but what concerns me the most is I am terrified of not seeing my little boy regularly . There is no indication that this would even happy but the thought of it really bothers me and ultimately keeps me from wanting to end the relationship which in turn isn’t the right thing.

Just after some advice and happy to share more experiences if required. Thanks.

Arrival of a baby is hugely disruptive to the existing dynamic and it is very early days to be throwing the towel in.
The things you describe don't sound any fun but if both of you are willing to try to get to the bottom of it, it is still possible the root cause of things could be found and adjustments made to help.
The real reason your family bother her so much will only be known if you can listen without being defensive, go into it open minded to see if there is something that makes her take this attitude. If you can manage that, maybe with counseling, perhaps it could be improved. If she can't explain her dislike, maybe she is not a nice person. But until you know what is at the bottom of it your won't know.
I think you owe it to yourself and your son to get to the truth before you make long lasting decisions.
The affection thing is difficult, babies and exhaustion go hand in hand and are libido killers even before any aggravation comes into the mix. I think the lack of affection is very much a symptom of other things.
If she seems not to be inclined to try to fix this maybe she thinks it would be too hard/all effort from her, perhaps if she saw you investing in recovering the good place you were at, maybe it would revive hope and encourage her to join you.
When dh and I were riding the rocky road of small babies the only thing that saved us was lots of honest, but not mean, communication. Really being willing to listen to each other. We're ten years on now and closer than ever because neither of us gave up and were prepared to meet each other halfway on reasonable wishes.

Im sorry you're both going through this. Firstly, even if you split up, you are still the child's father. She cannot keep you from him. I really think you both should sit down and have a serious talk, tell her how all this is making you feel.
When we had our first baby, i did change and didnt realise i was neglecting our relationship until my partner sat me down and id realised how different id become as a person. Communication is key, whatever it is.. do your best to work through it

This happened with my ex. Sounds like your partner is a bit jealous because your family are doing what she would like from hers. So she becomes a bit resentful (but will swear it's anything but).
Are you closer with your family than she is with hers.