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Help with not seeing children due to ex

4 replies

Jg230292 · 28/11/2020 08:09

I'm looking for some advise.
I have been refused seeing my 2 children since April this year, one of the children isn't mine which I found out in December last year by dna test, I made her leave relationship in January 2019 due to cheating suicide threats etc, I had nothing but problems with her since then and was using the children as a weapon to find out what was going on in my life, I started a new relationship in the April and shortly after found out that me and my partner was going to be having a baby, everything got worse from there, I had children full time until end of April 2019 and then for the children's best interest I put forward a mutual agreement of having them 4 on 4 off, during the time between April 2019 and April 20 it was just her using children as a pawn, the children where being affected by this and I was trying not to get involved in the games, but once the children where coming back and saying that her partner had hit them I voiced my opinion and obviously she denied that it happened, and I would receive games like finding her underwear in the washing and you can imagine the problems that caused between myself and my partner, those where the games and kids coming and saying oh mummy told us not to say this, I would only ask children if they had a nice 4 days with there mum so they could get everything of there chest and I could enjoy the time I had with them. In April this year the refused me to see the children as the 4 on 4 off did not work for them and obviously everything was an issue my partners children, kids being late for school 4 times in academic year etc, my daughter was born in the February and contact stopped in April I did not bow down to this and went round on my day to pick them and police where called I gave it 4 days went back and again police where called , a few weeks later I received a non molestation order with her claiming domestic violence, I contested it and then eventually gave in to the terms of the order, I tried sorting bits out by email and they just wanted me to have them weekends as it suited them and explained I worked on a 4 on 4 off shift pattern but they expected my partner to look after them while I worked, then it was they wanted to go through mediation which I told them wouldn't happen as there claiming domestic abuse and they stated mediation would be for just my daughter and not my son (who is not mine by blood), I had told them I couldnt afford it all and couldn't afford to pay to go through court, I spoke to mediation explained what is what and half way through the mediator said there is no point doing mediation as it will not work and issued me with c100 form, I tried having contact with the children and briefly spoke to them on the phone and I was refused a private conversation with them so I didn't bother again, and then the next thing was child matience in the picture( don't get me started on them) up until a week ago I heard nothing and then I received another court letter stating that she is going to court to have them with her full time until they are 16, I am struggling with this and it has caused a lot of problems between my partner I have lost my job due to covid and being off with depression,I have no idea what to do with the court and I am in two minds of whether to walk away or fight, but the only way this all stops is the children being with me full time but I can't see a judge awarding that with no evidence and I can't see anything else working as I know she will not stick to an agreement and she will carry on putting kids in the middle which is going to screw them up, I can't seek legal advise as I do not have the money, she is also seeking that I am not allowed to have unsupervised contact with the children, any advise from people who have been in same sort of situation would be great, thank you

OP posts:
Oct18mummy · 28/11/2020 08:15
emilybrontescorsett · 28/11/2020 08:23

Blimey op what a mess.
Can you speak to citizens advice?
Did you report your ex’s boyfriend for hitting your child?
It sounds like they wanted full custody to get child maintenance from you.
Sorry you are going through this op.
As an aside you would not have to pay child support to a child that isn’t yours.

Jg230292 · 28/11/2020 08:29

I did report it twice to the school and they claimed they wasn't doing anymore due to the children saying they where lying and I have had several arguments with cms as she put both children down on claim and it took them until last month to remove him from claim after sending across her court statement stating I wasn't the dad and making out I have known since she was pregnant which I didn't and came as a great shock to myself and my family.

OP posts:
RosieGirl27 · 28/11/2020 08:36

What a vile woman. If your currently claiming benefits I believe you may get help with the court costs. Speak to the job centre if you are. Go for full custody of your daughter if you think it’s best. There are plenty of charities out there who should be able to offer you some advice. Good luck.

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