Support and debt getting cluttered

[UltraMK]

Hello
Will put into point form but I am in the middle of changing our maintenance agreement.

When we divorced 18 months ago, we did not do a Financial Order. My ex has credit card debt that was built up during a business collapse though be both agreed at the time to use her cards.

I was dealing with this in an amicable manner that we would deal with it once we had financial stability. It is around 20,000

With Covid, my ex has decided to move away. Our agreement had been more or less 50% of the property the two kids (14-12) are living. She had access to stay here but over the past year, less and less time.

I have no problem with her paying child maintenance at a minimum.

BUT

She has said she is going to pay no maintenance until I agree a debt settlement.

I have simplified this for posting and will of course answer any questions best I can.

But I need to draw a line and not have the debt part of some 'negotiation'. The maintenance should be the maintenance.

Am I correct on this? I am in a position that if I need to carry 100% of the costs, I can for a good period of time. So this gives me the benefit of taking proper steps rather than the gut reaction.

Thank you

She doesn't get a choice in paying maintenance it's set out via CMS.

However if all the joint debt is in her name how is she affording to pay it off each month. I think it's unfair to not have a plan in place even if it's a 6 month plan for now to be reviewed.

Thank you for the information.

"However if all the joint debt is in her name how is she affording to pay it off each month. I think it's unfair to not have a plan in place even if it's a 6 month plan for now to be reviewed."

Monthy minimums are in place now and will continue. She wanted to take 100% of the maintenance and put it towards the debt even though, at present, no creditors have accepted deals we put forward to them that would be affordable.

My main concern was I don't want to turn maintenance around the children into negotiation which, in turn, will have a knock-on that could take a simple situation and make it complex.

If she decides to pay them minimum, so be it. As a father, I work with what I have instead of what I don't have.

The debt in her name could well be causing her very real financial difficulties - struggling to rent, cannot get any credit, struggling to afford day to day costs.

I think it would be best to discuss with her what urgent financial issues is it causing and work hard at resolving the problem.

If the house equity is to be split 50:50 how long is that going to take to resolve? Presumably the debt needs to be split 50:50 too?

"The debt in her name could well be causing her very real financial difficulties - struggling to rent, cannot get any credit, struggling to afford day to day costs."
At present, there is no financial pressure. Over the past year, she has at times been spending beyond her means with trips, etc, but this has not affected the monthly costs or the children. She has changed her name and, my understanding, obtaining credit but this is not my business.

The debt was 50:50 but well prior to the separation and divorce, I said that I would negotiate with the creditors and pay 100% (i.e. if £20,000 was owed and it came to £5,000, I would pay the £5,000). But we also agreed that we needed for both ourselves and the children to continue to 'live' in a positive way.

In fairness, though, it does take on a different feel when on the otherside of a divorce though I have said, again, that with stability, debt will be cleared. She is in a comfortable position with housing and her company has said they will not close down due to covid.

Right now, creditors are simply not even accepting 25%. COVID is affecting my revenue but I am in a position to cover all expenses, etc, if she pays the minimum.

There is clearly some reason she wants the debt paid of sooner. Have you asked her why?

If your finances are ok and you have equity why would the creditors accept 25% perhaps you need to offer more?

Anyway back to the original question. She has to pay the legal minimum as set out by CMS.

I would have to go into the full journey from the collapse of a business, decisions to keep the household going on an even keel to life going really well to her actions and decisions which led to a separation and divorce which is not what the thread is about.

Ideally, yes, the debts should be cleared but when I suggested VOA and/or even bankruptcy, she agreed she didn't want that course.

Behind the scenes, I am working towards ending the debt anyways.

My decision since starting this thread is to cover all the costs of the house and the kids. Reality will set in that she had to pay her share, if even the minimum while things are sorted on the debt.