Girlfriends ex partner has moved back in during lockdown

[Sheff517]

Hi first post

So when lockdown first started my girlfriends ex partner and dad to her kids moved back in to help with childcare as she is a keyworker, he has lived with his parents since they split up 4 years ago. His dad is shielding so having the children stopping at his parents at weekends with him, as what previously happened has not been possible.
Four months later he is still at her house and she is reluctant to tell him about us because they have never talked about new relationships since they split up and doesn't want to create an awkward atmosphere. This has meant we have not spent a night together since that time! I know this is an unprecedented situation with covid but am I being unreasonable when I am asking when he is moving out?

Not unreasonable to ask her but it's her decision and if you aren't comfortable with it then you need to decide if you can cope with it or not. If not, don't stay together and let resentment brew - break up.

The fact she hasn't told him she's seeing you is a MASSIVE red flag

I was only with her for 3 months before this so things were new but going really well, I have met all her family and friends etc, have even been introduced to kids as a friend. Don't think she was expecting him to need to stay so long

this is not good OP ... I'd expect her to be at minimal .. honest with him.. good luck

Woman here.
(This isn't relevant at all, I just see men announcing "Man here" like this quite a lot on threads, and I always think "what a fucking self-important bell end". So I thought I'd try it out - it feels great! Like shorthand for "Listen up you bunch of little losers, someone with the genitals to prove they know what they're talking about has arrived to tell you exactly what to do").

Anyway, what the fuck?! She should have told him the situation before he moved in. How does he still not know? Is she sneaking around texting you in secret, hiding in the bog to chat to you on the phone? Telling him she got delayed at Tesco when she's been to see you (or hasn't she)? It's really weird and pointless unless either she wants him back or she genuinely cares more about his feelings than yours. Either way I'd cut my losses at this point tbh. Maybe point out how odd and unnecessary it is first, and ask if she wants to stop being weird and start hanging out openly now. But if not, just ditch this one for someone who isn't so suspiciously intent on hiding you from the "ex".

If she's behaving like that, walk away, she is either freely single to do and see who she wants or she isn't, lockdown aside it is a bit weird the ex has moved back in, sure there is nothing going on there between them?