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Can't see my kids

2 replies

Danny8t6 · 09/07/2020 10:49

Hi people I'm not going to write a huge story of my situation but here is a quick summary of what I went through.

Met a girl back in 2009 who was already 5 month pregnant and took the baby on as my own. I am on his birth certificate but recently found out that is illegal but the real dad is never allowed near her anyway. Fast forward 10 years and j went through content cheating which majority of it all came out after the split but our last encounter was her pretending to go work but ended up cheating and then had the cheek to tell me I have to leave our house which I did. 2 days later my kids said she had the guy round our house who my kids have never even met and they still think me and their mum is together at the time. Prior to that I've always had my 2 kids and was the one to take and pick up from school. In the past when she first cheated she was always staying at her friends and never came home and i had to watch my boys cry for their mum but she would never come home. All she cares about was drinking and partying. I wish I was strong enough to up and leave but I loved her at the time and now I feel stupid. After the final split she still came down to see my family but she met her new fella who she is with now but was constantly bragging about him and what he buys my kids. On top of that o lost my sister last year and on the day of the funeral she had to break her neck to tell us all she was pregnant. I was still single and hurt then but never retaliated and I said congratulations to her. That's the type of girl she is and she has told her boyfriend and family the reason why she cheated was because I beat her and my kids which I never did and when I confronted her to her face she said she said that so her mum will give her support and help her move. She won't tell the truth and I have to live with that. Now I am in a relationship with a mature girlfriend and expecting a baby together which will be her 2nd as she ready has a 8 yr old daughter. She doesn't tolerate drama and she accepted my 2 kids and made them a lot cleaner and gave them everything but their mum didn't like it and every time I had my kids they was told to come and call me and my girlfriend. It wonder me up and I always retaliated with angry phone calls and texts. I'm just sick of all the abuse from her and she always gets away with it. She couldn't cope with our oldest who is 11 and demanded I had him full time which we did and the difference in how clean and happy he was but as soon as his mum found out i was having a baby she wanted him back and now some how the boys dont want to come see me anymore because apparently they dont like the rules as in bed time at 9 and cant always play on playstation because of homework. She has blocked me and wont let me see them and I'm getting told to be careful because if I take her to court and she says I beat my kids I can lose them full stop and even the baby we are having now. Why do courts always favour a mother? I am such a good dad and like my kids to be clean but with their mum their hygiene is disgusting and I have no power. I've had to walk away and just try and start fresh with my new family but it's painful to not see my boys but I also know if I keep chasing I'll always be unhappy and sometimes I do feel suicidal but no way will I show this to my current girlfriend. Sorry to rant on I just need some advice please

OP posts:
Carpathian2 · 09/07/2020 11:31

You really need to see a solicitor, where social services involved? Just thinking about the accusation that you hit the kids. If there's no evidence then I think a report would need to be done ( prepared to be corrected).

From a purely personal perspective, going to court and leaving a paper trail is something you can show your boys in future, that you gave a shit and tried to sort it legally. To do nothing sends the message that you won't make the effort.

Also, don't get involved in drama with your ex. The ds will know things aren't very good and will pick up on it, so don't slag her off to anyone ( I know that's really hard when you're hurting). Keep your dignity Thanks

Hileni · 09/07/2020 11:55

Courts don't favour the mother. Courts favour the children.

In most cases, it's in the best interest of the children to stay with their primary carer and because of the society we live in (male earns more and so female provides childcare) it's usually the mother.

You need to take her to court. She will need evidence of violent as proof. Even if you were/are violent you'd be able to see them through mediation or contact centre and build from there.

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