Need Advice on Fiancee's Gender Disappointment

[AS1979]

New to this but need advice. We have 3 perfect boys and have decided that 3 is enough for a variety of reasons. But we (especially my fiancee) always wanted a girl. Our youngest is 2. She has not lost this feeling in all that time and I can see where she is coming from but I have no idea how to help or make this better. Must be clear - she adores our sons, that is not an issue. It is the lack of a daughter that upsets her. There's a lot of comments about " at least you can have kids", "at least they're healthy", "you wouldn't get on with a girl anyway" etc but nothing helps and this is a real thing that affects her deeply and I am lost trying to help her. Has anyone any similar experiences or advice at all? Thank you for reading.

Hey AS1979.. I've not been in this exact situation, but (a little information about me..) I'm struggling with fertility and I am so completely and utterly desperate to have a child. Whether it be a boy or a girl, I just am crying out to become a mother. I'm 27, so constantly get the whole 'you're young, you have time' 'I had my first at 30.. lalala'. Commentators just DO. NOT. HELP.

Your wife has possibly grown up with the idea of having a girl, a smaller version of herself. It's a common thing, and by having boys, it's almost as though she's grieving that idea, and that is perfectly okay. It in no way means that she loves your sons any less.
Obviously, for reasons that are obviously personal to the both of you, another child is not appropriate- and, even if it was, there's no way to guarantee the sex of another child. I don't know if anything I've said will help either of you in any way, but you sound really supportive and I think that is great. Lots of love to the both of you.

I have both boy and girl so my view may be slightly biased. I don’t think it’s healthy to try for a particular gender, you could keep trying and end up with the same sex each time, then when does the want and need of a daughter stop? Another child is still a big responsibility and it doesn’t guarantee you’ll end up with the gender you both desire. It’s very common to want a particular gender and that’s fine but to continue having babies to get the desired gender isn’t healthy in my opinion.