Struggling, need advice!

[KH92]

So I have a 14 week old baby girl (my first). Recent over the last few days it feels like everything I do is wrong, every time I hold my baby she screams but then the minute my wife takes her she stops and is happy and smiling, it's like she is happy to see me I can get smiles and even get her to giggle when I don't have hold of her, but the second I pick her up or hold her everything changes and the screaming starts, this has been going on for about a week and I'm now at the point where I barely interact with her. I not sure what to do, has anyone else been through something like this, any advice would be appreciated.

Try not to take it personally. They still think they’re the same person as mum at 14 weeks. Try wearing her in a sling/ carrier for naps (might scream at first but will soon settle) and keep smiling from a distance. Everything is a phase and will change soon enough, just keep trying

This is quite normal don't worry. It shows that your child's bond with their mother is strong and it is a good sign. Try not to take it personally though I understand it will be upsetting. Keep going, support her mother (it is draining being the only 'thing' that can comfort a child) and interact in whichever way your baby is comfortable every time you can. It will pass, keep going, you will be rewarded many times over in the future. Again, it's normal and will pass.

I know I'm trying I just feel like a failure tbh, we've tried the sling/carrier even for periods of half and hour to an hour and she just screams, even tried having my wife settle her and then laying her on me and that works until she realises its me and then same again.

Do you feel nervous? It's often said that babies can pick up on vibes from people in the room. Perhaps you may have got into a circle of becoming more nervous and she can sense it? I obviously don't know at all but only a thought. You're not a failiure if you carry on being there for her, failures are the ones that stop trying. You could try to sit close and touch/stroke her whist she's being held by her mother being fed or something like that. Also, get a worn tshirt of yours and try to keep it close to your baby so she gets used to it. Don't put pressure on yourself or her to build a strong bond quickly, it will happen. These things take time for lots of new parents including mothers. some babies are more 'fussy' than others. Try not to worry, you're doing great.