Ex gf wants to kick me out

[Mentos87]

I was with my gf for 9 years. We have 2 kids. Our relationship was up and down but mostly down as time went. Recently I bought a house. All is in my name and she didn’t contribute even £1. We moved in 2 months ago and since then I noticed a big change in her behaviour. She is now saying she doesn’t want to be with me anymore. I told her to move out then and we share kids 50/50. Then she arrogantly told me that kids will be with her 100% of the time and the she will not move out as this is a family house where kids must stay and as she is a resident parent she will also be able to stay and I can’t remove her.

I told her that I can be a resident parent as I run my business from home, do all school runs and look after kids from 7am to 4pm when she is at work. She then went berserk and said she will try to transfer the house to her name and kick me out.

I was saving for 7 years to get a deposit for it, took mortgage on myself and paid for all improvements with money and my time. Ex gf is earning £16k and spends most on herself apart from gas bill (she insisted to pay at least 1 bill per month) and some for kids, I get £47k and contribute all towards the house, improvements, remaining bills, all food, leisure, holiday, car, toys and some clothes.

Is she able to take my home or even transfer it to her name if she has 0% equity and her name is nowhere in a paperwork? Is she right that I can’t remove her?

No. No, she can’t. And in any case, you would be more likely deemed the resident parent if you’re the one providing most of the care

And for the love of god don’t marry her when things are going well!

@allthepeoplethatcomearound thank you for your response.

I would never marry her. Actually she was insisting for the past 4 years and gave up.
I am worried that family courts won't recognise me as a resident parent due to general bias towards men. Therefore if she will become a resident parent can she stay indefinitely? I am afraid she might then start some accusation of domestic abuse to remove me. I have read many scary stories where men got totally wrecked by the system.

Apparently ex can get something called Mesher order and be able to stay until the youngest kid is 18 despite having 0% equity and without her name on a property.

Contact a solicitor ASAP and do not tell her

Go and see a solicitor. A mesher order relates to family home and divorce. It's your home and your not married

Agree with PP solicitor advice. Also gain evidence in writing. You will need to show (and shouldn't be hard) her work hours and that you are the primary carer completing all the school runs etc. She cannot kick you out of your own house, however she thinks she has been very clever by ensuring one bill is in her name to get a claim on your home. You will be able to document that you have paid everything else and that this was her contribution to household expenses and you may have to. I may be cynical but sounds like she was holding out until the house was sorted and now wants to take you for all your worth.

1.go to a lawyer now and no hesitations! 2. The courts arent bias towards the mothers. You are their Dad and have 50/50 rights over their care.
3.Stay put and stand your ground.

1. Or just say stuff it and sell the house from under her nose.

Apparently ex can get something called Mesher order and be able to stay until the youngest kid is 18 despite having 0% equity and without her name on a property.

Haaahaa! Nope. Not married. And even if you were, those are becoming rarer these days, courts usually favouring a clean break in divorce and those orders applying mostly to families where the children are near 18.

Do not move out. Do not. See a solicitor.

'she didn't contribute even £1'

Is this true though? How long has the set up with her working full time and you doing all the school runs and after school childcare been in place? Forgive me if I am wrong but I highly doubt this has been since the children's births. Any times she was pregnant, on maternity leave, probably caring for your joint children until they started school while you were building a career she was missing out on the opportunity to build her own career so you could... Am I right? She may have felt insecure financially which is why the pressure of marriage and the need to work full time once the children started school. I'm not surprised the relationship has broken down if you consider your money yours only, and not family money. I'm not surprised it's broken down if you didn't put her on the deeds or mortgage. You've refused to marry her and then shafted her with this house buy.

Fortunately for you, she is wrong and she has zero security with you not being married and the house not being in joint names. You could have her removed legally and yes, you would likely win a legal battle to become resident parent.

Please consider if there may have been an element of financial abuse before you do anything too hasty. The way you both see family finances sounds really unhealthy and possibly the root cause of your relationship breakdown.

I am really sorry u are going through this. It sounds like ur partner has deliberately waited for you to buy the hse.

Stop accepting money from her for any bills right now!

In fact if u can give her the two months worth of bills she has paid back. She can claim she contributed all she could by paying one bill a month. You dont need her ££. Given it is only two months it wont count for much so equity wise she doesnt really have a stake.

Get all receipts and records of

A) your payments for improvements
B) your mortgage and bills
C) all the bills associated with ur kids upkeep

Receipts wise... go back as far as u can

See a solicitor about your rights as a cohabiting couple asap. Dont tell her!

She may be able to get an order to remain until the youngest is 18 on the basis this is the family home so see a solicitor asap but she cant insist on kicking u out of the hse which is in ur name

Play everything by the book.

Be smarter than her, if u feel threatened never be in a roon alone or record conversations when u think she might be difficult and never ever lose ur temper. Walk away everytime she pushes ur buttons

Sorry @user1333796 your way off the mark. He has not done anything wrong and theres no financial abuse going on from what he has told us.

She sounds like a piece of work! I agree with PP, think you need to get legal advise. I'm so glad for you that you didn't put her on the mortgage as she sounds nasty.

If you were in a relationship and had kids why did you buy a house for you all to live in but only have it in your name? She doesn't need to be on the mortgage to be on the deeds. That's a bit weird of you.

You have to take the view that she has already consulted a solicitor, or is going to.
It is vital you consult your solicitor ASAP.

It’s a good job you didn’t put her on the deeds or she would have a claim. If she’s paid towards deposit or mortgage she might have a claim.

It’s not their long term home if you moved in two months ago. It’s hard but she needs to leave. You can provide a home for the kids and she will need to rent one.

Meshed order shouldn’t apply if not married.

If she wants out then she leaves your house.

Good for you earning 3 x your partners salary.
Good for you purchasing a house only in your name.
I can give you more pats on the back - but you now cant hold down your relationship.

Despite only hearing your side of the story - I am so pleased you are neither a partner of mine for 9 years or my father with this attitude towards the mother.

Splitting up doesn't have to be complex - put the kids first - do the right things - share things fairly - always make sure the kids have 2 parents that behave like role models in adverse times.

I cant see you doing this - so spend a fortune on legal advice!