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Should I leave???

6 replies

Complexityany1 · 08/12/2019 18:16

So I'm pretty sure once people read this I already know what the answer will be but wanna ask for opinions anyway. I've been with the mrs 18 years since we was 16. The last few years we have just drifted apart romantically hardly any sex she has no interest in really going out and doing things with me on the rare occasion when we dont have the kids. And I'm not blameless in the sex department as I just dont fancy her at all like that no more but without me initiating it we wouldn't even have it the once we have it every couple of months. We still get on it's not like we argue all the time only time there is an atmosphere is when I wanna go out with some of the lads and that's prob once every month. That's down to me getting found out for sleeping with some1 and shes never got over it that was 10+years ago and I've been faithful ever since. My main reason for asking is my kids they have no clue that I'm miserable with there mom because the kids are what I live 4 my son is soon to start his GCSE and is the top student of the school, my middle child is doing good in school 2,and my youngest who is 6 is a proper daddy's girl and who is the main reason I ain't left because I couldn't imagine not being with her every day. So the question I really wanna ask is if I'm unhappy with my relationship but it's not affecting my kids is should I stay so they are in what seems to be a good environment for them, or should I be selfish and tear there world apart by moving out? I'm sure my eldest 2 will be ok but I think my lil 1 would struggle as I say shes a real daddy's girl.

OP posts:
Windygate · 08/12/2019 19:05

I'll bite. You don't 'fancy' your wife, you've been unfaithful and the trust has gone. Talk to her and let her move on. Make sure you do 50% of the child care including the thankless drudge work. Oh and don't kid yourself, your DC are well aware of how you feel about their DM

Mummyzzz044 · 30/01/2020 17:38

I agree with Windygate,
She probably resents you. Your children will adapt. Let her move on and you do the same. For men lack of sex seems to change everything. When all the woman wants is for you to respect and be attentive and trust me intimacy will follow.

Ennith · 30/01/2020 17:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BIWI · 30/01/2020 17:45

Absolutely no consideration for your partner in any of this, is there?

MilleniumHallsWalledGarden · 30/01/2020 17:45

Yes, you should. Both of your lives would be much improved if you did.

Cator · 25/02/2020 14:05

Previous posters have hit the nail on the head. There's nothing in your post about how guilty you felt and how you have tried to restore her faith in you after you cheated - merely a "she's never got over it". Of course she feels uncomfortable about "lads" nights out - she probably assumes you're going to stick your end in someone else.

Let her go and find someone who will show her the respect and fidelity she deserves.

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