What is the funniest thing your child has said?

[Daddster]

For me, the time 2yo DD1 looked at me lovingly and said "Daddy is big and fat!" or told my DW "come here you naughty girl"

When DS2 viewed the video of the C Section that bought him into the world he turned and very seriously said "Nanna did you see that - the doctor just wrecked mums belly"

It was sooo funny how serious he was

At the Zoo with DS1. A rather large lady wearing a lurid pink tracksuit a few feet away. Cue DS1:
"Look Mummy! A pig!"

DS, 2.6, lolling in the bath: "I am a fish. A grumpy fish. With a beautiful willy"

DD1, in the bath, dipping the bath thermometer into the water: "I'm going to use this to tell the time. Oh look, it's twenty past bubbly."

DD1, wanting to help with the hoovering: "I can do it by myself, because I'm very big and very fat."

DD2, in a very loud voice whilst being pushed round Asda in a trolley: "Milky nipples! Milky nipples!"

DS: (stroking his dad's face) Are you growing a musschin?

DS: (who was 4 at the time) I explained to him that the front of his head was his forehead to which he replied "Jamie at school has a five head then doesn't he Mummy".

DH was trying to show his parents that DD understands the difference in accents between her southern Dad & northern Mum:

DH: What do you have at night?
DD: A bath (northern a)
DH: What does Daddy have?
DD: A bath (pronounced barth)
DH: What does mummy have?
DD: A shower

shopping in asda at Xmas, little old lady says hello and whats your name to my 3 year old son. Shut up bitch, he replied!!!

my dd ws stood in middle of the room shouting ow ow ow i sked her why she ws shouting i got cos i tired! she ws 13mo me and dp were posl

dd "if I took out my brain and made it all flat, it would make a nice rug wouldn't it?"

I worry about her sometimes.

"I wish I was a tomato, then I could be tomato ketchup" ds, on her favourite food

or rather, dd, on her favourite (and if she had her way, only) food

Standing up for a pee (in the normal way); DS stoods and watched, before declaring "That would be very difficult for Mummy to do."

DH having a wee and DD said 'look, its tongue is sticking out'. DH telling DS about his winky etc and said 'and these bits are your testicles'. DS came in bedroom to proudly show me his 'tescos'

dd (2.6) gives a running commentary on everything she sees, we'll be walking down the road and she sees someone else walking along, 'lady...man...no lady....no man! So loud and very embaressing, understandable with men with long hair, but mortifying with slightly masculine women!
Have also had 'well done, mummy did wee wee' in cublcle with people outside.
Was also shocked when she announced she wanted to be a boy when she grows up so she can play football - I'm a feminist how did this happen to my poor girl - we play football together anyway - I blame playschool!

DS, when he was about 2.6, said ...

'I can't say sorry 'cos it's a funny shape and it won't come out of my mouth.'