I hope some of you can offer some advice for me during what seems to be a very tough time.
I have been with my wife for 20 years and she recently made the decision to separate after a year of fairly bad arguments. Granted some of them were me overreacting and some were caused by her. We are seriously different personalities but we are great committed parents. We also have both an 11 year old and 8 year old daughter.
As a father I am very hands on and was also very much a do'er in the house who was very domesticated. Her work with unusual hours she took on a year prior to our separation came first. I must also point out that I was a great supporter when she had the option to take the job.
Since the separation, or three weeks in, I found out she was visiting a close male friends house she works with right after I had collected the children and stayed at his during the nights. This really had a big impact on me and stopped me healing as all sorts of emotions came out! I am over it now but boy have the last 5 months been tricky. To cut a long story short, I was asked to leave the rental property we were in which I did (whilst I stayed at a family members house for 4 months to be close to the kids) and she then refused to let me stay there overnight even though I was there during the days and evening to see the kids. She treated me with so much bitterness and anger even though I was still co-operating and giving in to her wishes and demands.
Anyway, a month and a half ago I moved into a lovely flat close to the children's schools and the people close to me which has been lovely. I have still supported my wife who openly tells me to date or have a fling! I am helping right to the last drop financially and emotionally where I can. She knows my good nature and in my opinion has taken advantage of it.
She recently moved back into the home we own / built together which TBH is my pride and joy. I also let her stay in my flat for a week prior to her moving on whilst the home we own was been decorated. A gesture of good will on my part.
She has said its not my house (even though we both own it), I cant have a key, I cant turn up when I want (which I will not do anyway) and has just been plain brutal throughout this process.
I am backing off and TBH so will she now that she has everything she wanted. Granted, I appreciate that she is going through some emotional issues, but she is happier with no me and having the kids and house. She really has not been nice to me since the separation whilst I am still helping where I can. People can see this too!
Its all been pretty nuts but I have faith that something good will come out of this. I just feel like I have been taken advantage of big time.
Any advice, would really be appreciated.
Many thanks in advance.
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Separating / The Journey
Makile · 12/04/2019 14:53
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