Am I a mug???

[Waaaay2soft]

So, met a new Mum of two! Absolutely fell head over heels for her.
To kinda put things into perspective and short.
Things aren’t easy!
Her ex seems to be quiet involved. She allows him to do as he seems fit and I seem to be pushed aside when that happens.
I love her to bits and love her kids but I honestly feel she is making a mug out of me!!!
I do absolutely anything for her and shown how much she means! Like us mugs do. Cause we think it shows how much they actually do mean!
Cause I feel like this, I honestly feel it’s time to move on cause as things progress things seem to go worse and I feel she is taking me from granted.
But I can’t move on!! It’s really hard to make that move! Any advice??

You need to be more specific, what does she do to make you feel like a mug?
Does she have a good a relationship with her ex? And this makes you feel uneasy?
Does he cross boundaries in your opinion?

If its a problem, simply pull the plug and move on,,simples

So her ex seems to do as he pleases with arrangements with the kids. For me there is no structure! He works away for couple of weeks and all is good! Till he’s back then I’m kinda made second choice.
So she works at weekends, unsociable hours. I have the kids so she can work. But on her return from work it just seems like I’m a glorified baby sitter.

Stop babysitting

The arrangements between her and her ex re the kids are none of your business. If the two of them are satisfied that's all there is to it.

If you're saying you're providing childcare and the schedule or lack thereof isn't working for you, then stop. If she's taking you for a mug, you'll know soon enough.

But there is no arrangements. He comes and goes when it suits him.
I’ve taken the children on as my own and when he gets in touch it seems like my partner bows down to him.
So I have to make myself disappear when he turns up cause she feels it’s awkward. The reason I say this is because he starts at her house with her and the kids while he is seeing them. Doesn’t take them out or anything.
He has no place of his own and stays with a friend. So taking the kids to his place isn’t an option.
It seems I just kinda deal with it but now the more I think about it the more proper arrangements should be in place cause let’s face it who else would live a life around your partners ex

How long have you been with her?
It seems to me you’re getting too involved too soon.

If you’re both serious about staying together then maybe you have a conversation about your place in the family.
If you want out because of the situation then you need to make it clear to her that unless her & her ex can structure there arrangements better then you will not be filling in the gaps.
The ex will always be in the background of your relationship because of his kids.

But that IS the arrangement. I think you aren’t getting it. It’s none of your business. If you aren’t happy with the way they are choosing to coparent then your only choice is to bow out and end the relationship. It certainly is NOT your place to tell them to change things.

Just out of curiosity, how long have you been in this relationship and do you live together?

You're far too involved. don't be a martyr.

I'd step away. You are not in any way prepared for this set of circs. It won't end well for you. And end it will.

I am suspecting your relationship is new'ish - your g/freiend and her ex have a history and dynamic you have no idea about - the children also. Save a lot of strife and leave this well alone.