What is it with men and drinking and not eating and drinking and, did I mention, drinking?

[BecauseImWorthIt]

DH went to the rugby yesterday. This involved, naturally, meeting up in a pub before the match. And going to the pub after the match.

He appeared home relatively early - prob about 10.30 (I think he thought this would earn him brownie points - but pissed me off more because I think he thought I was going to cook for him.) He hadn't eaten.

He was pissed when he got in (quelle surprise), but then sat up and stayed up drinking. I had opened a bottle of red wine because I needed some to cook with, so he was drinking this. I went to bed, leaving some of the white wine that I had been drinking.

He was in charge of running DS1's cricket match this morning, which was an away match, which meant leaving home at 8.15 am.

I was woken by a loud noise from downstairs at 5am this morning, which was DH coming to bed. He had drunk all the red wine and the remains of the white, on top of everything he had drunk during the day.

But somehow he thought he was going to be fine to get up and drive (at least a 30 minute drive) with my son and possibly 1 or 2 other boys from the team.

I set my alarm and got up, woke him up and drove him and ds there (leaving ds2 at home all morning on his own - it was too far to drive home and then drive back again).

So, after this long post, I have several questions for you men:

1. Why do you not eat when you go out drinking?
2. Why do you not know when you've had enough?
3. Why do you think that 3 hours' sleep will magically remove the alcohol from your body?
4. Why do you go to bed, eventually, knackered without apologising to DW? Or not even thanking her for helping you out this morning?
5. And, do you think I should show DH this thread? I am so, so, annoyed about the whole thing, and that he hasn't had the decency to apologise or thank me.

I thank you for listening to my rant if you have got this far.

"1. Why do you not eat when you go out drinking?"
Sometimes nobody mentions it for a while and after a bit you just forget. I find it a problem though. I always like to have a good meal before going to the pub. I can't drink like I used to. If I know it's going to be a long night, I'll often be a bit of a poof and dip out of a round, or have a soft drink for half an hour. It makes a huge difference. One diet coke slipped between the third and fourth beer gives you a real boost.

"2. Why do you not know when you've had enough?"
I usually do - I feel like falling asleep and feel all bloated. Wine isn't too bad - I can happily knock back an entire bottle (not all at once obviously), but I could NEVER drink the equivalent in beer. Its the volume of liquid more than anything. I go for bottled beers a lot these days.

"3. Why do you think that 3 hours' sleep will magically remove the alcohol from your body?"
It's a worrying question. I wouldn't!

"4. Why do you go to bed, eventually, knackered without apologising to DW? Or not even thanking her for helping you out this morning?"
Sometimes the urge to collapse takes over everything else.

"5. And, do you think I should show DH this thread? I am so, so, annoyed about the whole thing, and that he hasn't had the decency to apologise or thank me."

I agree that is a bit out of order.

1. Because when you're drinking you don't get hungry and anyway it impinges on drinking time
2. The more you have the less likely you are to know
3. Erm, 'cause you feel different to when you went to sleep - not better, obviously, but different, so you must be OK
4. Because youre hangover is enormous and all-encompassing and therefore sensitivity and all that relationship stuff, hell, good manners even, don't get a look-in.
5. Give us his email address and we'll send him a reminder to make it up to you, but just out of the blue, mano a mano - he doesn't need to know where [email protected] got his email addy from does he?

I feel guilty replying to this thread, because I love Rugby and would have loved to have gone yesterday. Originally thought it would be a boring game but am regretting not going now.
As for DH I do not know what to say, I have been out on the mother of all booze ups and have made errors when getting home. I think your DH already knows he has done wrong.

1. When drinking you sometimes forget about time and stuff and just enjoy the moment.
2. Knowing when you have had enough is probably my biggest weakness. Mrs BGD crucifies me for this sometimes. All I can say when you have had a few drinks your judgement becomes impaired.
3. Bad call here and he knows it.
4. Did you really want a conversation with him at 5am? I agree with unquiet Dad and Bear here as well.
5. I'd be suprised if he does not apologise eventually, yes show him the thread but I'd just tell him anyway.

Ahhh BecauseImworthit I'm feeling a bit of a bonding with you. After your lovely offers of help when I was marooned in Wimbledon your talk about your DH and Rugby is especially significant.

My DP, after I'd been away with DD for 2 weeks was put out because he'd have to curtail his drinking on FA cup final night (big pub night in Oz and on at midnight) to collect us at 6am from the airport.

I wouldn't mind so much but he didn't even watch football in England.

I'm toying with the idea of leaving him .....

Thank you. Am liking the idea of lots of anonymous male MNetters e-mailing him!

Don't get me wrong - I have no problem with him going to the rugby, it's one of his major passions, nor do I really object to the drinking (although the quantity and the continuation of it does alarm me). I like a drink too, so am aware of the potential to be the pot calling the kettle black!

And I think you're right that he probably does know he's done wrong. DH always finds 'sorry' a hard word to extricate from his vocabulary.

It's the sheer irresponsiblity that has irritated me, as well as being annoyed that he has not once mentioned it.

Sorry Arfishy to hear about your DH. Lacking a certain sensitivity, I think. But you're not going to leave him really, are you?