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Dadsnet

Speak to new fathers on our Dads forum.

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Original poster

MEN i need YOUR help!!!

27 replies

theUrbanDryad · 17/05/2007 09:35

a lot of my friends, including the ladies on my post natal thread, say that their dh/p's get up with the babies at around half 6, so their dw/p's can have an extra hour's sleep before the man has to go and do their manly job! my dh thinks it's great that i get up with ds (4 months) at night AND first thing in the morning, while dhe has a good 8 hours (because he has to work )

when your dc were little, did you get up to them? what was the arrangement? am i being swizzled??

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

YeahBut · 17/05/2007 09:37

Not a man, but dh and I used to do alternate days so both of us would be getting a decent length of sleep regularly. Made a big difference to us and seemed fair. Be interested to hear what the Dads say!

oxocube · 17/05/2007 09:40

Mine said he would do this before dc1 was born. He got up once then pronounced himself too tired the next day and "unable to work". I got up to all 3 kids ever since

nailpolish · 17/05/2007 09:46

are you bfing? my dh used to get up, make me a cuppa while i bf dd's

i fyou arent, i would suggest alternate
be that feeds in the night, or night about

its only fair

nailpolish · 17/05/2007 09:46

yes the man has to work but its not like th ewoman sits around watching pip and fern all day

JARM · 17/05/2007 09:50

DH has ALWAYS got up to the girls, both in the night (except when tiny) and the early mornings.

This morning the girls woke at 5.10am.... he left me in bed til I woke at 7.30am

He never moans about it, enjoys it and would rather I was rested than crabby!

I know Im a VERY lucky woman, but I do feel guilty sometimes (yet he still doesnt let me get up!)

YeahBut · 17/05/2007 09:51

Ominous silence from the men of mumsnet...

Boredveryverybored · 17/05/2007 09:54

Ex always did that. I got up through the night but he always got up in the mornings (anything 5am or later was classed as morning )
Then he would bring dd to me when he was leaving for work.
I am a terrible morning person though, so he probably only did it to save me banging around the house being moody

Original poster

theUrbanDryad · 17/05/2007 09:55

i am bf-ing, so it's impractical for dh to to get up to him in the night (although, he did once get him up, pass him to me, then take him off, burp him and put him back to bed. once) but it wouldn't be difficult for him to take him downstairs after his first morning's feed so i could get an extra hour sleep before he has to shower and get ready for work.

to be completely fair to him (i'm going to show him this thread, so can't be not fair!) last weekend he stayed downstairs with ds so i could go and have a nap in the afternoon. it was really nice, i got about an hour or so. wish we could make it a regular occurence!!

i think the thing is, he thinks i do sit on my arse MNing and drinking tea all day, while he's slaving away doing a job he hates. when he comes home and says "What did you do today?" and i say "Well i met up with some friends for lunch, or i went to the Baby Cafe, or i went for a walk in the park," he gets jealous that i do all these fun things while he's at work. but i don't see why i shouldn't enjoy my time with ds while he's this little, especially since i'll probably have to go back to work when he's 6 months!

dads - where are you??!

OP posts:

Original poster

theUrbanDryad · 17/05/2007 09:56

oh yes, and sometimes he makes me a cup of tea. but never before 7am.

OP posts:

Flower3554 · 17/05/2007 09:56

Although dh works away 2 weeks at a time then home for the weekend,when he is home he usually does the 11pm and 3am feeds then I get up 6-7 and bring lo's downstairs so he can lie in. To me thats the best deal as I get unbroken sleep a couple of nights and he gets the lie in, which I'm not bothered about having anyway.

NeverEndingPileOfLaundry · 17/05/2007 09:57

No, I get up with the LO, whilst DH slumbers on. He really doesn't do mornings, and would need a bomb under the bed to get him up!!

He needs more sleep than me, and is v v v grumpy if he doesn't get enough sleep - would rather have this way than him harrumping round the house tbh. He does make me a tea every morning before he heads off to work though, even if I have been awake for ages.

nearlythere · 17/05/2007 10:01

god- you lucky bunch dh's making tea and all- i need to have words with mine i think!

I am the one that goes out to work, he is at home and collects the kids from school etc. If one of the dt's has a nightmare and starts screaming in the night then he gets up but only because i hide my head under the pillow and pretend to still be sleeping! BUT i have to get them up, dressed fed and taken to school while he stays slumbering!

JodieG1 · 17/05/2007 10:01

I do the night feed as I'm breastfeeding but dh will get up in the night with him if he wakes up and stays awake. He'll then also get up in the morning with ds2 and the other two kids so that I can get a bit extra sleep as he knows that I'm up 4ish time a night feeding ds2. Last night, for example, dh took ds2 downstairs from 3.30-4.40am as ds2 was just awake and then brought him back up, he has a quick feed and then slept. I had to feed him a couple more times before morning and then dh got up at 6.30 with him and the others. He woke me up at 7.40 so that he could get ready for work. He's really good like this and always gets up. Once Ethan is sleeping through then we'll take turns with getting up in the morning just like we did before he was born

UnquietDad · 17/05/2007 10:05

DW did more of the getting-up whe they were very little, given that both ours were bf, and she is (spendidly) endowed with nork and I am not.

I did my share of other stuff - nappies etc. We didn't partition everything out 50-50, we just did things according to what was most convenient. We always have done, even pre-children. It evens out over a year or so. Some people get too anal about these things.

God, it was only 4 years ago with DS and 7 with DD, and it already seems like Babylife was something that happened to someone else.

Original poster

theUrbanDryad · 17/05/2007 10:08

i tend to change the nappies cause we don't have a changing table (waste of money IMFO) and it hurts his back/knees to do it on the floor/end of the bed.

i don't think he's ever put a nappy wash on.

i try not to be anal, i really do. but sleep deprivation is a killer, and it's hard not to be bitter. also, i'm really not looking forward to going back to work on little sleep and still doing all the household stuff i do know (ie, cooking, cleaning, washing etc)

OP posts:

JodieG1 · 17/05/2007 10:12

We both change nappies but do have a changing table as I have a bad back and knee and it painful leaning over to change on the floor. Dh does most of ds2's baths for the same reason and I do the other kids. I do nearly all housework and cooking but he will help if asked. He also makes dinner now and again.

NeverEndingPileOfLaundry · 17/05/2007 10:15

We wern't going to get a changing table, but to me it has been worth the money. DH is currently suffering from sciatica, and wouldn't be able to change nappies without it at the moment. He is happy to do nappirs though - it gets him involved as he can't feed DD - I am bfing.

He is pretty good other than the mornings though, we tend to do stuff as and when they need doing like UnquietDad. I am rubbish in the evenings, so he does alot of the tidying / chores then, whereas I am either zzzing on the sofa, or MNing!!

NeverEndingPileOfLaundry · 17/05/2007 10:15

Nappies even! Sorry, am bfing.

DaddyCool · 17/05/2007 13:21

i was the morning and night person. still am.

entertaining a pre-schooler all day, every day is far more strainful than sitting at a desk all day.

DrDaddy · 17/05/2007 19:25

DW is really crap with no sleep; I need much less so I used to get up early with them when they were really wee, if it had been a bad night...
Our standard arrangement now is that I'll get up with both DC on sat mornings and she gets a lie in...which is my punishment for being allowed out to the pub on Friday night!

HappyDaddy · 17/05/2007 20:32

I did all the nights and still get up to dd (3) in the night, if she wakes. Simple fact is that I can go straight back to sleep but DW is unable to get back to sleep for ages.

Also, night was my one on one time with dd and I loved it.

P.S. Hello all.

MrMariella · 17/05/2007 20:45

HD!!!

You big rascal you!!

Bienvenue, Wilkommen, Dude!, Buenos noches, Ciao, baby!!

gothicmama · 17/05/2007 20:54

UD I did nighttime and first thing in the morning but dh used to do 11pm shift if dd woke up this was due to his work pattern and bf routine.
with ds dh was going to night times bottle fed as I was at work and dh at home and he sleeps through but I get to spend time with him from 5 ish before I go to work and dh does anything before hand. It 's about working out what works for your famuily can dh have ds soem time at weekend to let you catch up on sleep

DrDaddy · 17/05/2007 20:58

HappyDaddy! Welcome back my man!

dontwanttogetoutofbed · 17/05/2007 20:59

JARM i am very

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