If you thought your wife was having an affair

[northernjon]

what would you look out for?

Agree it's strange that she'd ask you to get something from the bag if she had anything to hide. Any chance she is trying to tell you that she wants to start having a sexual relationship again?

You really need to have a talk with your wife.

Clearly things arent right, but, that doesnt necessarily suggest an affair.

If I were in your place, I would have waited for an opportune, quiet moment, and asked her about the condoms.

The fact that you have sat on this for a while tells me that you already feel defeated by the situation. Why is that? What do you want to do about it?

I was going to say perhaps the visible condoms were a hint to you....

I think that unless she wanted you to find out then she wouldn't have asked you to get something from her bag if she was hiding something?

northernjon, have you sorted it out yet?
Reading what you wrote reminded me of my situation with my ex. I loved him but was not 'in love' with him because I was so heartbroken about someone else. Didn't think I could ever love again so settled for him and wanted to fully love him because he is a really wonderful man. We had separate rooms cos I hated sharing my space. He accepted me as you did your wife and we had a very good and close friendship for a long time but to be honest with you I did want to have sex with loads of other men. I never did but I wanted to and the only thing that stopped me was respect for him.
Our relationship ended when I fell in love with another man - no affair though- just fell in love with a complete stranger so ended it with ex.
It was AWFUL and he became extremely depressed and I felt constantly guilty but then he fell in love with my best friend and she fell in love with him and then I got together with the complete stranger and my ex is good friends with my new man and I was bridesmaid at thier wedding last week!
A happy ending is always available for every situation so long as everyone is honest and makes an effort to listen as well as talk.
I hope you get your happy ending. x X x