I can't be the only one to be bemused - please help me

[UnquietDad]

...by all the "crocs" stuff on here. I had to look them up to see what they were. They're sort of plasticky-looking shoes with holes in, right? Why do they provoke so many comments??

...by how people who are middle-class but not huge earners (can you be middle-class and improverished? I think you can) manage to live in nice areas. E.g. if you are working in voluntary sector or a creative industry where they pay peanuts. How do you avoid living in some area with a Lidl and a sink-estate comp?

...by the food fad/dieting obsessions.

...by the obsession with celebrities and their doings, and the magazines which celebrate their vacuous culture.

... by the way so many DHs get away with doing nothing relating to the kids during the week and then absconding for football/rugby/golf on a Saturday, or even a weekend away with the lads, when I have to get a bloody form signed in my own blood in triplicate if I want to have my first night away in several months.

I know I'm probably repeating myself, though. And covering too many bases for one thread!

I agree.

Don't know what crocs are, but I think it's horrible to make shoes from dead reptiles . There's too much class-consciousness on here (and too much left wing/right wing crap). Dieting is a huge bore, as are celebrities, and the bit about the DH's doing nothing all week is probably a load of bow-locks.

Have I made you feel better?

UD

Crocs - no idea why they cause so much hoo hah

Houses - I often wonder the same. H earns a decent salary, but we can't afford to move to a bigger house

Dieting - well, I understand that one, but it must be a 'girl thing'

Celeb magazines are rubbish - could not care less about them

My h can go wherever he pleases, whenever he wants - within reason. I expect the same in return

oh dear

are you having a bad day ?

i love crocs..they are comfy

buying a house in a nice town, before the market exploded again

don;t do fads/ diet , just eat

do not care for sleb culture , only read the mags if my friend gives them to me.... maybe i do care for it a bit!!

DH works 80 odd hours a week, including weekends, so he doesn;t see the children much,so that doesn;t really apply to us !

does that help at all????

also bemused by points 1, 3 and 4...
couldnt give a monkeys about point 2 (never thought about it)...
and boy do i have to do the triplicate/blood/pact with the devil stuff to get 5 minutes 'off' too!

i feel your pain, man

...Crocs - utterley bemused by obsessing over shoes, either for or against.
...Unmonied but middle-class. Yes, that's me - I work in the arts - creative AND voluntary sector (as does DP). We live in grittier areas and adopt or maintain an open mind! (we are within v easy walking distance of both a Lidl and 2 v good comps! Lidl is fab)
...celeb - bemused
...Idle DH's - bemused.

would you say i qualify as middle class or working class, blu?? (blu knows me in rl)
only ily interested btw - couldnt give a toss either way!

ah yes hate crocs, they look appalling
dh does not get away with doing nothing at the w/end or in the week
got our house 15 years ago when it coes 55K, now worth 180k (no way we could afford it)

I'm afraid I succumb regularly to the diet obsession though, I read all the magazines featuring size zero models and eys, I'd love to look like them!

fio... do you mean; thats a v personal questionto ask, my lover?
or
thats a v personal question to ask blu [who is] my lover?

ooh yes he has........

crocs - going back ALOT of years, we used to have to wear shoes like these to school.

they may be the darlings of the fashionista, but they are old, old, old.

... Crocs are apparently very comfy, but so are my Converse and they look far less silly. Although I admit they're not as easy to slip on and off.

... Haven't a clue about the 2nd, we're impoverished, middle-class upbringing and mentally. We asked the bank to give us as big a mortgage as they would allow, then very nice parents gave us the rest (they'd struck lucky on the housing boom 5 years ago). To benefit we had to move to a totally different area and we now live on a rather nice council estate but with stunning views of open moorland.
We consider ourselves very very lucky.

... Just eat healthily, fad diets only mean you put the weight back on afterwards.

... Celebrity Who?

... DP is my best mate, we have the same friends and do everything together. I've never understood when people are so pleased to have a night away from each other.. What are you doing with them in that case?
I do realise though that the majority of people think they're normal and we're the freaks for living in each others pockets.

Bil - It is called having friends. Who needs to just be with one person? I know h and I are not having a good time at the moment, but we have always made time for friends. I have more friends than him though

bilblio - IME, that sounds just about right.

When I hear of peeps who "need" regular time away from each other, amongst my first reactions is "why? Do you not allow each other space between yourselves to express yourselves when you are together?".

'Living in each other's pockets' is great, when you have made those pockets nice and roomy for each other.

Hi Di!

I don't 'need' time away from h. I just have friends who I want to see and who want to see me. I enjoy time with them and would go mad spending every day with one person. H likes snow-boarding and I like sewing. Never the twain shall meet and all that.

Hi MrM!

Dh and I met each other quite late in life - he had his friends quite set in stone and although I get along with all of them, sometimes you just want to see your mates on your own! More often than not, we go out on our own. Tbh, I think we do need to make an effort to go out more together but logistics mean it is often easier for me to go out with my friends during the day (and the occasional evening) and for dh to see his friends straight from work. Neither of us begrudge the other the time though!

Oh dear, UnquietDad, was it me commenting about dh going to football that made you think of your last point (not that my dh does nothing with the kids). I encourage dh to go to football, especially now ds is old enough to go with him. Means I get time with dd on her own which is lovely.

Crocs-No idea why they have huge threads devoted to them. I had no idea what they were until I saw them in a shoe shop the other day. Ugly things.

No idea, I'd quite like to find out but as a student living with a dp student with manylots of debt between us could be some time before I do!

Diet? Nope sorry you've lost me on that one what does that word mean?

Celebs- Would love to say I never read trash. I don't understand it but sometimes you just have to read some trashy mags...you just do.....dunno why.

men- mine is very hands on, dunno.

fio - well id entertain the notion. what kind of lover are you?

But MrsDior we do have friends, very good friends who we see a lot of (even though they all live miles away so visits mean overnight stays.) But they're not his friends and my friends, they're our friends. Even when we lived close to our friends and we saw them daily it was still pretty rare for us to go out alone.

I know where you're coming from though, and as I said I know we aren't generally the norm. DP and I have been together since we were 18 and because we've always done stuff together we've always made friends together too. Also the fact that our child is still a bump hasn't meant one person has had to stay in babysitting.

But on the other hand when we are forced to spend time apart or if we try doing activities separately we usually hate it because we miss each other. (God I sound soppy!) I work 3 days a week, those 3 days with other people is more than enough. In our spare time we're home birds but we're not joined at the hip, he's usually in his little studio and I'm in mine. If our spare time was spent gazing at the TV, or being together in the true sense of the word, then yes I probably would go nuts and start eyeing up the knife drawer

E.g. if you are working in voluntary sector or a creative industry where they pay peanuts. How do you avoid living in some area with a Lidl and a sink-estate comp?

er i do live in an area like that. bog off

Hey, thanks for all the clarification!

I feel better... I think...

SEA - no slight intended, it's just that I often see people who I know can't earn very much and yet they've managed to wangle really nice houses in fantastic catchment areas and shop at Waitrose and have two holidays a year... And I just wonder how they do it.

bilblio/MrM - it's not "needing" time away as such, or not wanting to be with your DW/DP. You can love someone more than anything and not want to be with them all the sodding time. Surely?... Sometimes, you want to go and see a friend they don't really know well, or you're invited to something where they're not, or you are going to do something that wouldn't interest them.

DW has her "girly" nights out with friends and it would be exceedingly odd if I went along, or even wanted to. (Actually, sometimes I'd quite like to - I enjoy the company of women and, having heard about some of the things they discuss, I'd like the chance to put the man's view! But the other women would find it weird, even if DW wouldn't.)