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Original poster

Child maintenance: how much and what should be covered

67 replies

Eastfinchleydad · 13/01/2018 22:24

Hi,

Sorry if this is the wrong place for this, and I’m sure it’s been covered elsewhere, but I’d appreciate any help / honest opinions you can give me.

Second apology: the amounts of money I’m going to mention are considerably above the national average, and I can see why people may just say ‘get over yourself’.

My wife and I separated 7 months ago after 5 years of marriage. We have one daughter who is now 3 1/2. We earn similar amounts: I earn £74k; she earns £69k but with lower pension contributions. I left the family flat, and am renting a flat three stops away on the tube. I pay £1350 per month in rent which is very slightly more than the mortgage payments on the family flat. My daughter spends approximately 2 nights per week at ‘mine’ (I’d prefer more, but that’s a different topic). She is in nursery 3 days per week, with my wife taking her for one day and her mother for another. With our 30 hours, and before vouchers, we pay about £400 per month.

I don’t want to be unfair to my ex wife, and I certainly don’t wish to not contribute to my daughter’s needs. I also want to make sure the agreement is fair to me. I have, of course, been paying maintenance over the past 7 months, but the level is being questioned, and I just wanted to gauge opinion on a) what approximately would be a fair amount; b) what should be included (childcare, activities etc.); and c) how to account for childcare vouchers.

I’ll let you know what my current contribution is later, if you’re interested!

Thanks.

OP posts:
outofmydepth45 · 13/01/2018 23:16

The RP picks how it is spent child maintainance is based on earnings and contact time.

If you wish to support a roof over DD's head you need to factor in rent if your going for the minimum use the calculator and buy clothes, etc. For while she is in your care

Original poster
Eastfinchleydad · 13/01/2018 23:20

3500 - 1350 - 450 payments - 200 bills - 70 - 150 = £1280 for me plus our daughter 2 days

3350 - 1300 - 250 bills - 150 + 450 = £2200 for her plus our daughter for 5 days.

OP posts:
clippedcasuals · 13/01/2018 23:24

Sounds low to me.

ohamIreally · 13/01/2018 23:24

Why are you only taking home £3500 when you earn £74k? I earn less than that and take home more after pension and childcare vouchers? In answer to your question, think about how much it costs to raise a loved child in the way you would want to and pay your share. £450 is rubbish frankly and I suspect you know it.

MrsPestilence · 13/01/2018 23:25

Kids are expensive. What you are paying seems about right (with all those extras). You do need to sort out the property, expect her to get 60 - 70% of the collateral. Divorce is very expensive.

Graphista · 13/01/2018 23:30

£130 pw according to calculator when I do it based on gross pay adjusted for 2 nights per week. But as has been said that is a minimum for basics. Do you want your child to have only basics or given you have pretty good earnings do you want your child to have a life that reflects this?

Monthly pay 4225 (take home)

Rent £1350
Child maintenance £1000

Leaves you £1875 for one adult for food and bills - I rather suspect plenty of London FAMILIES manage on less.

Graphista · 13/01/2018 23:34

3350 - 1300 = 2050

3500 - 1350 = 2150

So you're already £100 pcm better off and she has your child 5/7.

I'm also not buying that's your take home - I used an online tax calculator to calculate your take home - did you remove pension contributions or something?

Graphista · 13/01/2018 23:38

Well if your ex goes through cms it'll be £563 pcm.

If you make your ex have to fight to get it and you have to pay fees thats ridiculous - surely that money is better spent on your child?

It would be ah extra £26 a week you'd have to pay.

Original poster
Eastfinchleydad · 13/01/2018 23:39

I’m a teacher so pension contributions are 15.5%. I’m £100 a month better off before contributions. I don’t just pay £450: I pay more than half of childcare etc after that.

OP posts:
ivenoideawhatimdoing · 13/01/2018 23:44

OP if it's working for you then carry on paying what you are doing, if issues arise in the future, then cross that bridge when you come to it.

If you and your ex are happy with the financial situation why rock the boat?

Hope that you sort the access out, as well.

Original poster
Eastfinchleydad · 13/01/2018 23:45

Yes, Graphista, I fully accept that I am lucky to have the salary I have and know that these numbers will sicken many. I apologise for that. I am just trying to find (reasonably impartial) evidence of what I should pay: I’ve had so many bits of advice, but with not consistency. I assure you I have a lot less than £1800 a month to live off!

OP posts:
Graphista · 13/01/2018 23:50

Well the impartial (but inaccurate) evidence is via the cms calculator which is still £563 pcm which I suspect is more than you wish to pay.

If you really wanted to be fair you could look at your household bills before you split, the costs that apply to DC divide by 2. Simples.

Original poster
Eastfinchleydad · 13/01/2018 23:54

It’s less than I am effectively paying at the moment. And I don’t think I should be paying less. I think I need to up it slightly, but get clarifucation of what it covers

OP posts:
Graphista · 13/01/2018 23:55

Why do you need clarification of what it covers do you really think your ex would see your child short?

Ragusa · 13/01/2018 23:55

I thought the maximum TPS contribution was just over 11%. Unless you are not in England ...

I also cannot work out how your take home is quite that low warning as you do.

ohamIreally · 13/01/2018 23:56

Your pay grade as a teacher states 11.3% not 15.5%. As at December 2017.

Ragusa · 13/01/2018 23:57

When you say 'clarification of what it covers' do you mean you want ex to account for how she spends it?

If so, nope. She spends it as she sees fit. If you want out of maintenance, off to court for shared parenting.

ohamIreally · 13/01/2018 23:59

I really detest this use of the word "paying" as well. Surely "contributing" would be more appropriate.

bastardkitty · 14/01/2018 00:00

What you are paying seems very low. That's a very expensive place you found yourself to rent.

MrsPestilence · 14/01/2018 00:03

clarification of what it covers = what ever your DW wants it to cover.
Sorry, the second you ask that a normal person or the court will think controlling arsehole. I assume you don't want people to think this.

Zampa · 14/01/2018 00:08

I currently pay £450 pcm in payments, plus £128 in childcare vouchers, £70 in bills that are still in my name and about £150 in extras.

So OP is paying about £800 pcm with overnight contact 2 nights per week. Annually, that's £9,600 and the "weekly rate" is about £185 or £37 per non contact night. Assuming that the OP budgets a similar amount for his nights, the child is benefitting from £13.5K per year.

Original poster
Eastfinchleydad · 14/01/2018 00:09

I needed a 2 bed place from which I could get to work easily and which was close to my daughter. I could have found something slightly cheaper, but this is below the average for northern line areas in London zone 3/4.

I agree about my use of words: contribute is much better.

Yes, I got my pension contribution wrong (I used to pay in extra, which I have now stopped), and my take home is actually £3600 (sorry to use rounder numbers). I think my ex’s is slightly higher too.

OP posts:
AnnieAnoniMouse · 14/01/2018 00:11

bastardkitty have you ever tried to rent in London?

Original poster
Eastfinchleydad · 14/01/2018 00:11

Mrspestilence, what I mean by what it covers is should I be paying extra for childcare etc.? If it covers childcare, I think I should be paying more.

OP posts:
Justoneme · 14/01/2018 00:12

Simple.... go to a solicitor and get some kind of legal framework in place. And of course contact the cms.