Telepathy Classes - Are There Any?

[215m3]

I was wondering if any Dad's could help. Do they know of any telepathy classes that I could attend. It seems I am not very good at it.

Oh while I am on this matter, are there any - 2nd Guess classes too?

At the moment I can't get it right for getting it wrong. I have a 2 1/2 year old boy and 10 month girl. However as much as try and help when at home, though I do have to work 8.30 until 5pm, I get it wrong.

If I go with what I think is best - it's wrong. If I ask, I get why are you asking me reply? Err because when I seen to do something it gets done the wrong way. If I try and do it my GF's way, it's not good enough, she's a bit OCD.

When I get home I play with the kids so my GF can get a break. So when playing with them, Oh why have you not set the table, or you can see I am unloading the dishwasher, you could have helped. Oh, I was looking after the kids to get them away from you while.

Is this a common issue?

Why don't you just ask "do you want help with that" when she's doing a task.

I know you work but take into consideration her job is relentless. It never ever stops, even when someone has the kids she then has to do the practical tasks -
Honestly she's probably exhausted.

Have you heard of the mental load?

If you have to stop and think about how your other half can help, explain how to do it etc, it's sometimes more work than doing it yourself.

She may have ridiculously high standards and needs to relax and accept your help the way you do it, but maybe she needs you to help with all the thinking about what needs doing too.

It could be that she 'sees' all the jobs that just won't get done unless she does them. Yes it is relentless, 24/7 and no lunch breaks, even though it is not all work and no play. It's hard not to constantly think of all the jobs that need doing and they mount up every single day. I used to be so envious of DH walking out the front door in the morning without a second thought of the chaos of the day left behind. There are different degrees of chaos and people react differently to all those chores. Some days just fall apart for no apparent reason. So my advice to you is to think of the jobs she is asking you and expand on that job so she doesn't feel she has to supervise. For example, if you're playing with the DC's then it is quite nice for her to know that you and the DC's will tidy up enthusiastically afterwards. Maybe setting the table is important to her so it is worth trying to get that ready as well? You will know next time, unless another task is added.
It took me many years to gain control of the constant laundry pile that sapped my energy. This is going to sound daft but I broke it up into all the steps, picking up, sorting, washing, drying, dry enough to put away, sort for ironing, iron, put away, 8 steps! but I only saw it as 2 basic steps, wash and dry. The ever increasing piles of clothes always got to me, until I recognised all the steps. I did say it was going to sound daft. Same with keeping the house tidy, I just didn't see the mess unless a friend dropped by. Many people can't switch off, and housework chores are never finished at the end of the day. Good luck

Just do your best and don't take it personally. The best thing you can do for your partner and your relationship right now is to see yourself as a team, and to not let the way having small children effects you as individuals make you think any less of each other. So yeah, you probably can't win right now, but I guess that's not much fun for her either. Keep on trucking, don't use it as an excuse to shirk, pull more than your weight and don't let it get you down - it's only temporary!