Unexpected 2nd Pregnancy

[rwpg]

Hi,

I'm new to this site so if this has been discussed before I'm sorry.

Last week I found out that my wife was pregnant which without going into too much detail is a total surprise as we didn't think this could ever happen to us. We already have a 5 year old son who is the centre of the family and is fantastic.

So this brings about why I'm here for opinions/thoughts. As we never expected this, we've never given much thought about having another child, my wife has had the dream of having two but dismissed it given our circumstances so we've carved out a great home and have hit that happy stage of the work/life balance.

Now we've had this unexpected shock, we are torn on what to do, keep or don't keep? We've talked for hours every day about what we should and end up going in circles. We've spoken with my parents who have offered support whatever we do.

I feel sick to my stomach about becoming a Dad again with the added pressures of introducing another mouth into the household and making sure our son has the care and attention he needs. My wife worries the same, but feels that we could "do this" and bring another one into our family. We feel that we are driving ourselves crazy with this and are concerned our decision will be made for us if we don't work out what we should do.

Thanks for reading.

Go where your heart leads you and you can't go wrong.
Best wishes...

We didn't get a choice in the matter (we had twins which was a total shock and we probably wouldn't have wanted a second) and it's been tough but wonderful. Believe me, it's perfectly possible to give two children as much love as they need. It will be easier for you as your son is older, already at school etc - plenty of time for both as long as you're both focussed on the kids.

Glad to hear you've got a good work/life balance and have a happy household, it's rather refreshing to read about!

How does your partner feel about the situation too?

There is no shame in terminating, it's much more common then people realise (people are just too afraid to talk about it). There are more cells under your finger nail then an early fetus would you believe it.

Good luck in your decision, wish happiness to you all.

At the end of the day it is your wife's decision to make. Please think about whether she's making a decision to please you rather than the decision she might make on her own.

Our second child brings as much joy and delight as our first. Your love expands, not splits. It's hard work to go back to the baby stage but it doesn't last long in the overall scheme of things.

Yep, your wife will be the one to really deal with the fallout of an abortion. Sounds like she wants to keep the baby so you should. It’s a year or so of hard work (and much easier second time around) then it will be easier.

You talk about “another mouth” but you know it’s so much more than that. If you really are comfortable now another baby won’t impact that badly.

Also make an appointment to get the snip already.