My feed
Premium

Please
or
to access all these features

Speak to new fathers on our Dads forum.

Dadsnet

Gentlemen a question if i may......

14 replies

kimi · 27/02/2007 13:54

I am sorry to bother you lovely gentlemen but i need to ask a little question or two....

  1. Do you have female friends?

  2. does your wife/partner know

    3)does your wife/partner mind?

    You see I talk/talked to one of the school run dads , have done for approx 2 years.
    We talked about our kids our family's, the rugby, day to day stuff.
    He knows my DH1 (we are seperated), he also knows my new partner, My new partner fixed his PC for him a few weeks ago.
    He is a lovely bloke and very funny.
    There has NEVER been anything other then a friendly chat gone on between us.
    At the weekend my DP gets a text from this guys phone that came from his wife and said..
    IS MY HUSBAND SLEEPING WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND?

    I sent a text back saying no, and a text asking what the hell was going on.
    I got a text from him on Monday saying his wife found an email address and a forum on his PC she did not know about (gaming ww2 stuff) and has told him marriage over.
    Also the fact he talked to me was a problem as she did not know.
    Im at a loss.
    Did i do something wrong talking to this guy, i assumed his wife knew he talked to me, and why if she did not did he not tell her he did?

    Blokes oppinion please......
OP posts:
UnquietDad · 27/02/2007 14:00

My answers: 1) Yes, b) Yes, c) No.

Although d) she might mind if she suspected I was friends with someone because I fancied them.

Not that I'm suggesting that's what's happening here. Some people just have a problem with it. My BIL, for example, would NEVER have female friends because his wife would just simply never allow it - she is a jealous insecure mare with a small-town mentality.

if you've ever been to uni, or do evening classes, or have a hobby which isn't one-gender dominated, you'll have friends of the opposite gender. It's quite normal.

But I was amazed the last time I asked this on here to find out how many people consider it NOT normal.

UnquietDad · 27/02/2007 14:00

sorry, I have no idea why I changed from 1-2-3 to a-b-c. !

kimi · 27/02/2007 14:11

Thank you UD.
I met DH1 when i was 14 and so most of his friends (although not all) were male, I have worked in male dominated jobs and I have never thought it any different to go for a coffee with a male friend then a female friend.

I don't think I'm a moose but I am never going to win miss world either,and I have never thought of this bloke as anything other then a mate, I really don't think he saw me as someone other then a mate to chat to. I have only ever met this man's wife once, so I don't even knows who I am as such.

OP posts:
kimi · 27/02/2007 14:12

Sorry should be I don't even think she knows who I am as such.

OP posts:
Gee72 · 27/02/2007 15:00
  1. Yes, but only old ones

2. Yes
3. Not really

When I was younger (school and Uni) I always had more platonic female friends than male mates. So there are still a couple of those on the scene. There was an initial period with DW when ahe had to adjust to these women being around but nothing serious.

I have to say I probably wouldn't go out of my way to make any new female friends outside of couples, just to avoid misunderstanding. I'm friendly with women I work with, but keep a little distance. I think my wife is the same. I might be a little suspicious if she started seeing a new male friend socially - but a chat at the school gate? Nah.
kimi · 27/02/2007 15:30

We walked up the road together from the school.
There really was nothing going on.
I feel so sad that I might have caused him problems.

OP posts:
FloatingInSpace · 27/02/2007 15:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

kimi · 27/02/2007 17:43

Thanks FIS

OP posts:
Catbabydaddy · 27/02/2007 22:03

Yes Yes and No. My wife trusts me - why shouldn't she?

BigGitDad · 27/02/2007 22:21

My answers are the same as unquietdad.
I think this is your friends wife's problem if I may say so. You do not know the full story. He may have a crush on you, she may be insanely jealous. It will be sad as you feel you are losing a friend but you do not know what he has said or is doing? I would keep your distance until this is resolved and certainly do not get dragged into their domestic.

Beetrootccio · 27/02/2007 22:34

biggitdad hav eyou changed your name or are you new?

HappyDaddy · 28/02/2007 11:08

Yes, Yes, No.

I agree with UQD, BGD and CBD.

BigGitDad · 28/02/2007 11:29

No I am new, I have been watching the site for a while, my profile will explain all.
Thought I'd increase the male quota on the board for what it is worth.

Pann · 01/03/2007 01:06

kimi - can you clear up a question? How come there had been an exchange of mobile numbers in the first place??

I am single right now, butthe answers to questions are/would be same as UD's.

Welcome, Git.

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.