Do faithful men have sexual thoughts about other women?

[theaftermath]

Having a trust issue with my partner.

(There is a background story but I'm exhausted so don't want to type it all out!)

He has told me that before he goes on a big lads night he has to remind himself of "us" and if he ever chats to a women he has to talk about me to ensure he prevents having sexual thoughts about anyone else.

He says he has never taken it further (apart from one incident which is part of the back story...) but I'm feeling very unsure of staying with him.

If I'm honest I do think men can have passing sexual thoughts about another woman without it really affecting their relationship with their partner... Or am I massively mistaken?

I agree with Chipping. DH must fantasise about other women, just like I do about other men, but it certainly doesn't spill over into real life whilst chatting to people!!!

Hmm, I'm not sure about this.

I'm in a committed permanent relationship and have been for 11 years. I have never cheated on anyone in my life and don't ever intend to.
However, I sometimes have to remind myself to "act attached" so that thoughts about other people (which are themselves almost universal, I'd guess) stay as just thoughts. I thought that was normal. Everyone has the potential to cheat. Having the motivation to make sure you don't (by whatever means) is surely the important thing? And in his own way isn't that what your DP's doing?

(The number-giving bollocks is an entirely different story though)

my dp has sexual thoughts with other women as i do with men, both of us know it gives us a few ideas in the bedroom

Of course. I'm sure most of them do. As do most faithful women.

OP I'm not sure if you've worded it to make your partner sound bad or if he's actually really bad!

I've been faithfully and happily married over 15 years. I think it's natural to think about other women sexually and don't think there's anything particularly wrong with it.

I have to say that I do mention my wife and kids whenever I meet other women but that is more to make them feel at ease than anything else i.e. that I'm talking to them because they're interesting as opposed to me hitting on them etc. I don't know if it works but I've made a number of good female friends over the years, where there has been mutual respect and no flirting etc.

Personally I think it strange if he mentions you so that he doesn't have any sexual thoughts. As above though, I'm not sure if it's just the way you've worded your post.

He sounds like a horrible game player.

Life is too short to waste on someone who wants to blame you for his lack of maturity.

Tell him to do one.

So he's shared a sexual fantasy of yours with somebody outside your relationship without telling you first? Big hmmmmmm.

I'd have to agree with the other posters who have broken the issue in two.

It is certainly OK to think sexually about other women.

It is NOT ok to give out your phone number to them!

As my wife says, window shopping is fine, but going inside and buying something isn't!!!